


All You Ever Learned of Love

by phantisma



Series: SPN Cult [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cults, F/M, Group Sex, M/M, Multi, deprogramming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-25
Updated: 2010-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:18:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First Sam disappeared, and no matter how hard they looked, John and Dean couldn't find him.  Then Dean went missing.  John Winchester searches for them, enlisting the help of friends at first to find them, and then once he has to save them from the cult that has brainwashed them with sex and magic.  But this is no ordinary cult, and their leader is the demon John's been hunting since his wife died.  He isn't about to let his favorite followers go without a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John Winchester scoured the police impound lot for a glimpse of the familiar black lines of the Impala. It was his fourth tour of such lots in the last two days, since starting the long process of working his way through the San Francisco area.

He didn't have much to go on. Dean had told him he was heading to California, and he was passing through Reno. That had been almost six months before.

Six months. It was worse than Sam. At least Sam had sent a note telling them he was gone. He had asked for space. John at least knew it was his choice.

But Dean was a different story. Dean had just vanished. No note, no calls. His cell phone had been terminated. There was no sign of him at any of their traditional places. None of their contacts had seen or heard from him.

He was just gone.

Now, John was no fool. He knew Dean had not been happy since Sam left. He knew Dean still scoured the area where the letter had been postmarked, still went to Reno to look for some sign. '

He knew that something had gone down between his two boys and that Dean blamed himself for Sam's leaving.

None of that did anything to help him find the boy.

He ran a hand over his face and corrected himself. Man. Dean hadn't been a boy in a long time. He was going to be twenty-five in just a few weeks. Which meant Sam was coming up on twenty-one.

He sighed and turned, taking one last look around to make sure he didn't see the car. "I guess I'll keep looking," he said to the officer who was showing him around.

"Good luck."

He slipped on his sunglasses and went to his truck. Once inside, John opened his journal and flipped the pages to his list of local impound lots. It was a long shot, but if Dean had been forced to abandon the car, or gotten into some trouble he couldn't get out of, the car could possibly end up impounded.

Of course, Dean might have just chosen to disappear. In which case John knew he had very little chance of ever finding him unless he chose to be found.

He stared out the window at the San Francisco street for a long time as the afternoon wore on toward evening. He needed to find a place to sleep, start fresh in the morning. He started the truck and headed back toward the interstate. He had a favorite cheap motel downtown, close to a few bars and yet clean enough, as long as you didn't look under the bed and parking he didn't have to pay for. He was just pulling into the parking lot when his cell phone rang.

A quick glance at the caller ID told him it was Bobby and he flipped it open as he parked. "Yeah, you find something?"

"Hello to you too." Bobby groused. "It took some doing, but, I found a registration for the VIN." John could hear him shuffling paperwork around. "You're not going to believe who it's registered to, though."

John waited, sighing when Bobby didn't just tell him. "Well?"

"Sam."

John blinked. "Sam? As in…my son who I haven't seen in almost three years?"

"Sam Winchester. Sure as I'm sitting here. Got an address in Palo Alto, California."

"I'm in San Francisco. Give me the address." He scribbled as Bobby read off the numbers and street name. "Thanks Bobby, I'll be in touch."

He set the journal aside and pulled back out of the parking spot, pointing heading his truck down the peninsula toward Palo Alto. Traffic was horrendous getting out of the city and didn't get a lot better as he headed south. It was a little after six when he pulled up in front of the address.

Student housing by the look of it, a house probably divided up into apartments. The impala sat parked in front of it, polished and shiny. He sat and watched it for a minute, before deciding that all he could do was just go knock on the damn door.

He didn't know what he was going to say as he lifted his hand to knock. The time between his knock and the turning of the knob seemed to last forever, then suddenly, just like that, John was standing face to face with Sam.

Sam blinked and sort of took a step back. A slow smile curved his lips and his arms reached out, pulling John into a tight hug, thumping his back before letting go.

"Sam?"

John was still trying to find his voice when a pretty young blonde appeared at Sam's side, looking from Sam to John and back again. She smiled wide. "And who is this?"

Sam was beaming with happiness. "Jessica, this is my father. Dad, wow. Dad. Please, come in."

John nodded and stepped inside, shaking his head as he looked Sam over. He'd shot up another few inches since John had seen him and filled out across the shoulders.

"Damn…" Sam was pulling him back into another hug. "It's good to see you. Shit. I…" He shook his head and tried to pull himself together. "Wow, um…we…" He gestured toward the living room. "Why don't we sit down?"

John moved into the living room, glancing around. It was a typical college apartment, though the furniture was nicer than most college kids had and the art on the walls looked real. "You look good, Sam." John said finally, turning back to face him.

"I am good." Sam said, though his voice was still tinged with surprise. "I mean…I've worked hard."

Sam and Jessica sat on the couch, leaving the chair for John. He sat slowly, wiping his hands on his jeans. "I…I'm sorry to just drop in on you." John said when the silence had started to stretch. "I missed you."

Sam smiled again, that big, brilliant smile that somehow didn't seem real. "I missed you too. I hope you're not still mad about the way I left. I was…well, I was afraid you wouldn't let me go if I told you."

John had to concede that. He wouldn't have and it would have led to even more arguments between all three of them. "No, I'm not mad. You scared me—us, pretty good though." He shook his head. "Not mad."

"So, I have to ask…how'd you find me?"

Sam was holding Jessica's hand, his thumb stroking over the soft skin between her thumb and forefinger. It was oddly mesmerizing. "I, ah…Bobby, actually." John said after a few minutes. "I was looking for your brother."

Understanding dawned on Sam's face. "The car. He traced the VIN."

"Yeah, something like that." He shifted and waited for Sam to tell him where Dean was and when he didn't, John stood, pacing a little. "I last heard from him more than six months ago and he was headed this way…and now you have his car…so…where is he?"

Sam frowned up at him, then stood. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Sam, where is Dean?"

"He's not here." Sam looked at Jess, then back at John. "I mean, not anymore. I called him about six months or so ago and he came out to see me. We spent a few days together, he offered me the car and said he was going to meet back up with you."

That didn't sound like Dean. "You're saying he just gave you the car?"

Sam shrugged. "Took me by surprise too. I mean, he loves that car. Made me promise I'd take care of it, but he said he wanted me to have something of home."

"And he just walked away?"

"Well, I gave him some money. I thought he caught a bus or stole a car or something, honestly."

"When have you ever known your brother to willingly get on a bus?" John asked. Something wasn't right here, and it wasn't just the awkwardness of three years apart or the feeling that he was intruding on a life he knew nothing about.

"If he's been missing that long, maybe you should be talking to the police." Jessica said, standing and slipping her hand into Sam's. Her thumb played along a bracelet on his wrist, a leather thong threaded through a crystal blue stone. She wore a matching stone on leather around her neck.

"I doubt they could help." Sam said dismissively. "Remember, babe, I told you what they're lives are like."

She nodded. "Your brother did mention something about a friend south of here, remember? What was his name? James? Joseph?"

"Joshua." Sam supplied. "Dean did get a call from Joshua just before he left. Could be he headed that way."

John frowned. He'd spoken to Joshua. He hadn't mentioned a call. "If he did, he never got there. I talked to Joshua just a few weeks ago."

"That isn't like Dean." Sam said, starting to look a little worried now. "He seemed normal enough while he was here. Gave me a hard time about my hair, teased me about school, hit on Jess…I helped him research a hunt not far from here."

"A hunt? What kind?" John glanced at Jessica but Sam didn't seem worried about talking in front of her. He supposed it was possible Sam had told her the truth.

"Nothing special, just an average, run of the mill ghost hunt. Some girl." He waved his hand dismissively. "After he took care of it, we talked a while, he got a little…funny about leaving me here, about not telling you where I was. That was when he offered me the car."

"He and Sam were talking about a weekend road trip for old times sake, when he got the call from Joshua." Jessica said. She leaned in and kissed Sam's cheek. "I'll go call and let them know we're running late."

As she left the room, John looked Sam over again. "Am I keeping you from something?"

"Ah, we're meeting some friends is all. No big thing. They can wait." Sam rubbed his hands together. "So…"

"When did he leave?" John asked, not sure what was bothering him. Sam seemed happy to see him, and if he was going to leave them, John was glad it was for what he'd wanted all along, something normal. Jessica seemed like a lovely girlfriend. And yet, something in Sam's stance, in the tiny shifts of his weight, in the over bright smile wasn't right.

"Um…he was in the area for at least two weeks…End of July maybe?" Sam scratched his head. "I dropped him off down in San Jose. He said he'd be back maybe at Christmas, but when he didn't show I figured he just got caught up in another hunt or was too far away to make it practical."

"San Jose?"

Sam nodded. "Downtown, where he could get a ride. Oh, yeah. He called once, a few weeks later, but he didn't say where he was."

"Sam, honey, I'm going to head out. You stay here, catch up with your father." Jessica said from the doorway, slipping on her coat.

"No, I don't want to interrupt your plans." John said, squinting at Sam. "I should maybe head down to San Jose, see if I can pick up his trail."

Sam moved across the room to a desk, grabbing a piece of paper. "Here, let me give you my new number. Call me, let me know what's going on."

John took the paper, folding it and stuffing it in his pocket. He pulled one of his calling cards out of his pocket. It was simple white business card stock with his name and phone number and nothing else. He handed it to Sam who took it with a tight smile.

He half expected Sam to offer to come with him, or to at least look for Dean himself. The fact that he didn't was only further proof that something here wasn't right.

Sam and Jessica walked him out to his truck, and John hugged him one more time before climbing into it. If Sam thought this was the end of it, he was wrong. John Winchester was not going anywhere until he figured out exactly what it was that Sam was hiding from him.

 

 

"Well, that was unexpected." Sam said as his father drove away. "I figured at least another month before he showed up."

Jessica slid her hands down his sides and kissed the back of his neck. "Is it a problem?"

Sam chewed on his lip as he thought about it. "I should let Daniel know."

"You think he's going to stick around?"

Sam nodded. "I'm willing to bet he isn't two blocks away right now. Sitting down there waiting for us to pull out. He won't let me out of his sight for a while." He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He wasn't surprised when the call went to voicemail. Daniel was likely with one or more of his students. "Hey, it's Sam. My father showed up sooner than expected. I'll be in touch."

He put the phone back in his pocket and smiled at Jess. "So, you ready to go have some fun?"

"With him watching?"

He shrugged. "What's he going to see? He probably won't come into the bar, just sit outside and watch for us to leave." He opened the car door. She hesitated, then followed, getting into the passenger side. "Besides, I'm horny. Daniel wants some new recruits, and I aim to find him the most fucked up, sexually needy, submissive folks I can."

His head was already buzzing with his father's emotional charge; anger, suspicion, a touch of fear that something really had happened to Dean, disbelief. By the time they got to the bar he'd be ready for the task. He leaned over Jessica to open the glove box and pull out the flask, taking a hit and slipping it back inside. It wasn't as good as getting what he needed from the source, but it would amp him up just that much more.

"Ready?"

Jessica smiled and nodded and they headed out. Sam skipped the bar closest to the school, the general consensus from the rest of his friends were that it was always filled with the wrong crowd for their needs.

As they pulled in to Jake's parking lot, Jessica pulled out her phone. "Jake's." She smiled as she got out of the car. Sam caught her hand as they headed for the door. Our of the corner of his eye he spotted his father's truck, still on the street, but near enough to watch the front door of the place.

He put his father out of his mind to concentrate on the task at hand. Since coming to the temple, Sam had become Daniel's favorite recruiter to the ways of liberation.

His cock stirred as they entered the bar, the air charged with lust and desire and desperation. He could taste it. He closed his eyes, a small smile on his face as he turned toward it. "Already?" Jessica asked.

"It's going to be a good night." Sam responded, kissing her lightly. "Get me a beer. I'll be back."

He stepped around a couple of frat boys telling stories about their sexual conquests, his eyes scanning the crowd. He found what he was looking for in a dark corner near the bathrooms.

She was alone, and already part way to drunk, even though the night was young. She'd been crying, though at the moment she was just staring blindly at the counter she sat beside. Sam moved in, sliding onto the stool beside hers. He leaned in so she could hear him over the music.

"Hey, you okay?"

She blinked and looked up at him, big blue eyes blinking and bloodshot. "Fine," she muttered, turning away from him.

He reached out to touch her shoulder and got a hot stream of heartbreak, anguish, shame. "No offense, but you don't look fine, you look like you need a friend."

It took only the tiniest push to get inside her head and read the string of events that led her to this moment: alone for the first time, a virgin…until three nights before, a guy she really liked, drunken sex, unreturned phone calls and an email telling her to fuck off. He leaned in close, his mouth on her ear. "You are beautiful Cheryl." He felt the resistance die, even as his hand slipped down to cup her breast through the t-shirt. "He hurt you, but it doesn't have to be that way. Let me show you."

She stood, looking just a little dazed and he kissed her, drawing her to the side door. He glanced up to find Jessica, nodding as he pushed the door open and drew the girl into the alley. Before the door was even closed, he had his hand up under her shirt, rubbing at her breasts as he kissed her and pressed her into the wall.

"I…" She shook her head and blinked up at him. "I don't think this is a good idea."

He smiled then, soft, gentle, his hands cupping her face. "I want to show you what love is, Cheryl."

"L-love?" She was confused, partially from the alcohol, partially from arousal and the way it went against what she thought was right.

He kissed her again, his tongue parting her lips, sweeping through her mouth to taste the beer and Jack Daniels she'd been drinking. "Your body is nothing to be ashamed of, it has needs, it wants you to give it what it needs." He slid one hand from her face, down her stomach, popping the button on her jeans as he took her mouth again. "Let me show you."

He pulled her jeans open and went to one knee, one hand splayed over her stomach to keep her in place, the other sliding between her thighs and pressing in against her panties. She squirmed and tried to say something, but when he pressed his face into her and lifted her right leg up onto his shoulder to give him more room, she fell back against the wall and he knew he had her.

His tongue moved over the silk of her panties, over her clit, while his fingers maneuvered around the fabric pressed in, pushing inside of her, making her gasp. "This is beautiful, Cheryl." Sam murmured before he went back to licking and sucking, moving his fingers in and out of her at a faster and faster pace.

She came with a bit-off cry and he eased back, setting her foot back on the ground and sliding his fingers out of her. He stood, making sure she was watching as he slid those fingers into his mouth. When he had licked them clean, he leaned in and kissed her again. "I know what you need Cheryl. I can give it to you."

"Yeah?" she asked, her voice shaky as she pulled her jeans up and zipped them.

He smiled, genuine and friendly. "Come with me." He took her hand and led her back into the bar, and over to where Jessica sat. "Cheryl, this is Jessica." Sam kissed Jess deeply, and when he moved away, Jessica took Cheryl's hand from him, kissing her just as deeply as Sam had. Cheryl blinked, but didn't balk. Jessica smiled softly.

"You are a pretty one, aren't you?" Jessica brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

They left, headed for the bathroom where Jessica would talk to the girl and seal the deal. Even if she balked, Sam had marked her. Any other Alpha that met her in the next few weeks would sense the mark and work her until she came to the temple for the help she needed.

He lifted his beer from the bar and took a drink, casting out for the next mark. Instead he found Chen and Wayne, and lifted a hand. The pair of them approached with smiles. Sam stood to hug them, poking at Chen's new blue stone on the leather around her neck. "Enjoying your new status?"

She grinned and toyed with the stone. "You know it." She looked around them. "Where's Jess?"

Sam hitched a thumb toward the bathroom. "Closing a recruit. What are you two doing here?"

"Daniel called." Wayne said. "We were local, working at the Waterman."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "He sent you to look out for me?"

"Back you up. If you need it." Chen corrected, flagging down the bartender and ordering two beers. "Oh, and your brother told me to give you something."

The petite Asian stepped in close, taking his hand in one hand and pulling his head down with the other to kiss him while she put his hand up under her skirt, running his fingers through her slit.

"Mmmmm….my brother has good taste." Sam murmured. Something tickled his attention and he looked up, scanning the bar. "Oh."

Wayne grabbed the beer the bartender set down and dropped a twenty. "What oh?"

Sam gestured with his head. "The girl I just recruited, the asshole that left her a quivering mess just walked in."

Wayne turned to look. "Someday you're going to tell me how you know that shit. Seriously, I watch you work a room and wonder why Daniel lets any of the rest of us even try."

Sam grinned. "It's a gift, brother. One you either have, or you don't." He held up his hand for two new beers.

"I see a nefarious plan hatching." Chen said, sipping on her beer.

"Well, Daniel has taught us that sexual predators are in need of love too, that only liberation can free them from the chains of their addictions."

"In other words, Chen, my dear, Sam wants to fuck his ass repeatedly until he understands that treating women like sex toys is wrong."

Sam slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out the small vial. He didn't often feel the need to resort to such tricks to pull recruits, but this was one time he wouldn't mind. He pulled one of the beers down off the bar and held it between his knees, using Chen's body to hide what he was doing, and he dropped two drops of the liquid into the beer. He stirred it with his fingers, then wiped his fingers on his jeans and grabbed the other beer.

"Okay, cover me, I'm going in."

He crossed to where the big blond man was standing, clearly waiting for someone. Sam turned a few times, looking around him like he had lost someone. He made eye contact with the guy and shrugged. "Damn, isn't that just like a chick? I go to buy her a beer and she disappears." Blond guy chuckled.

"Yeah, it happens."

"Now, I'm stuck with two beers." He looked at the guy, then at the beer. "You want the other one? I'll never drink it before it gets warm."

The guy shrugged. "Sure, you shoot pool?"

Sam nodded. "Not the best, but yeah, I play." He took a sip of his beer and watched the guy do the same. "I'm Sam."

"Clay." He stuck out his hand and Sam shook it, reading him easily. Jock on a football scholarship, privileged, history of taking what he wanted when he wanted. Cheryl wasn't the first he'd gotten sloppy drunk and taken, only to drop her the next day.

"So, Clay. Let's play." He needed to give the drug a chance to do its work, open him up, make him more suggestible. Clay racked the balls and let Sam have the first shot. He played fairly aggressively, watching Clay as he drank his beer and the drug made its way into his system.

By the time Sam sank the eight ball, Clay was wavering on his feet. "Dude, you okay?"

"Did you…put something in my beer?"

"Course not." Sam put his cue down and settled a hand on Clay's shoulder. "Let's get you some air."

He guided Clay to the front door, catching Wayne's eye as they exited and Sam guided him around to the alley. The night air hit Clay and with just the right push from Sam, he doubled over, throwing up into the trash that lined one wall of the alley. Sam crowded in behind him, digging a little deeper into Clay's mind than he normally would, but then he didn't normally target rapists for this either.

He planted the suggestion deep inside Clay's mind that he was going to let Sam do whatever Sam wanted. When he straightened up and Sam reached around him to grab his cock, Clay jumped and started to pull away, then relaxed.

The drug left him open for the suggestion, even if it didn't interrupt his desire to resist, which made for a strange disconnect that Sam was having trouble thinking around. Sam pushed at all of his pleasure receptors, bringing his cock up full and hard as Sam yanked his pants down.

He fished in his pocket for lube, but only used enough to not hurt the guy, sticking two fingers into him without warning and going straight for his prostate. Clay moaned and bucked and came, spilling semen on top of his vomit.

Really, that was all Sam needed, just the act of his orgasm marked him, but this was one bastard Sam wanted to feel the fucking. He unzipped himself and pulled his fingers out of him, clamping one hand down on Clay's shoulder as he lined his cock up. "Gonna teach you some manners, boy." He pushed in and Clay tensed. It took all of his strength, both physically and mentally to keep him in play. Sam pushed at the pleasure receptors again and Clay relaxed.

"Sex is meant to be a beautiful, shared experience, Clay. It is an act of worship." Sam fucked up into him, his body belaying his words, but Clay's muddled mind wouldn't know the difference. He reached around, stroking his still hard cock, milking a second orgasm from him.

It was too much, and Sam ran the risk of frying his brain completely, but he pushed one last time, fucking hard and fast until he was coming and Clay's cock gamely tried again.

Clay collapsed into the wall, babbling about beautiful sex and come. Sam zipped himself back up and pulled Clay's pants up. "Alright Clay…let's get you wrapped up."

Wayne was already on his way to look for him as they neared the front door. He looked at Sam, then at Clay. "Shit, what did you do?"

"Pushed him." Sam said, slightly disgusted with himself. "He isn't going to need closing, just get him up to the temple. He's going to need a lot of work. He's a disgusting pig."

Wayne took over the stumbling weight of Clay's disoriented form, then recoiled a little. "Shit, how many times did you get him to come?"

"I think he was trying for a third." Sam said with a grimace.

"Damn, the boy's marked deep."

"Good, then he won't put up too much of a fight." Sam growled, suddenly just wanting to be rid of him. "Now get him up to Daniel. I'll be up tomorrow."

"What about your tail?"

Sam glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his father's truck. He couldn't actually see him, but he knew he was there. "Don't worry, I know how to slip him. I've done it before."

He let Wayne and Chen walk away with Clay and headed back into the bar, riding on the energy of the sex and the use of his power in such a forceful way. It always jazzed him up and left him needing to find a good use for the energy. It was time to find Jessica. Maybe she'd found a wounded puppy to bring home with them, the same way she had him nearly three years before.

 

 

 

John Winchester watched his son walk a young man into an alley and eased out of his truck to get close enough to find out what he was up to. The sound of retching echoed out of the alley and John slipped into the shadows, easing close enough to peer around the corner.

What he saw stopped him cold.

His view was partially obstructed, but there was no denying what Sam was doing. He was having sex with that man. John backed away and let the shadows swallow him.

That was something he hadn't expected. Not when Sam was very clearly with the pretty blond he'd met earlier. Not when she and Sam had arrived together. He exhaled slowly and backed off even more.

He'd expected something else. Anything else. The idea that Sam was hiding the fact that he was…what exactly…not gay, but clearly willing to play both sides…that hadn't even entered John's brain. Drugs maybe. Hiding Dean definitely. But this was different.

He watched from the dark as Sam and the man emerged, and Sam spoke to the two that came out of the bar, obviously handing the drunken sex partner off before heading back into the bar.

Sam seemed to be in a foul mood when he and Jessica emerged a half hour later, storming to the impala and tearing out of the parking lot. John followed at a distance until they turned onto the street where they lived, then he sighed and headed out to find a place to stay. Whatever Sam had gotten himself into, he was fairly certain it involved Dean and deeds Sam didn't want John to know about.

 

 

Dean groaned and rolled over, causing a chain reaction as the rest of the bed moved to accommodate him. He was tangled up in sheets and bodies, unsure which of the legs he could see were actually his until he started wiggling them.

"Don't." Sandy murmured, trying to pull him back down as he worked at extricating himself.

He leaned in to kiss her. "Have to, I've got a session with Daniel."

A hand caught his ankle, then slid up his leg to wrap around his cock, which only served to remind it that it was morning and no matter how much it had gotten the night before it should wake up and get hard.

"Come on, that's not fair." The hand was joined by a very talented tongue as Sandy's warm body curled around his back. "Hey, guys…" Ethan's mouth closed over his cock and Dean leaned back against Sandy for a minute, then remembered Daniel. He put a hand on Ethan's shoulder and pushed him back. "I'm serious. Daniel. I have to go."

Ethan pouted at him and Dean rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss the pout away. "I love you, really I do…but I gotta go."

"You'll come back?" Sandy asked as Dean finally got clear of the bed. He pulled on his gauzy white pants and turned back to the bed, filled with Ethan and Sandy and James and Sheila, groaning a little as Ethan's head dropped to Sandy's thigh.

"Yeah…yeah…back." Dean shook his head and left the room, angling for the showers and a change of clothes before he headed up to Daniel's office. He was a little surprised to find Sam outside one of the dorms set aside for new recruits. "Hey."

Sam turned, a smiled flashing across his face. "Hey."

"Whoa, who peed in your Wheaties this morning, Sunshine?"

Sam shook his head. "Sorry. Bad night."

Dean slid a hand around his brother's waist and drew him in close. "Maybe I could make it better?" Sam's mouth opened to his kiss, but he didn't really return it, which really wasn't like Sam. "That's more than a bad night."

Sam pulled back and tugged his hair out of his face. "I recruited someone last night…he took a lot out of me…and…" He made a pissy face, something Dean didn't see often anymore, not since coming here.

"What?" He searched out Sam's eyes, but they didn't tell him anything. "Come on Sam…you're the one who told me we were in this together. I love you. You can tell me anything."

"Dad." Sam said after a long silence. He let go of his hair and sighed. "He's here."

Dean frowned. "Here. As in here, at the temple or here in San Francisco?"

"He showed up at my house yesterday."

"What did you say?" Dean asked, not sure exactly how he would respond. He knew he was happy here, with Sam and Daniel and the others.

"Not much. He's looking for you."

"Well, we knew he'd come eventually." Dean said. They had talked about it even, about what they would do, how they would respond. "So…does he know?"

Sam's face went all pissy and pinched again. "About this place? I didn't want to watch him stroke out on my living room floor, Dean." Sam said. "No. He doesn't know…but you know him. He isn't leaving until he's seen you and you've convinced him that you're happy here and you don't want to leave."

Something in his tone made Dean reach for him, cupping a reassuring hand to Sam's face. "I am happy here, Sam and I don't ever want to leave you."

Sam smiled and kissed him. "I know Dean."

"I have to get up to Daniel's office. You going to be here?"

"Actually, I need to see Daniel myself. I'll walk with you."

Dean abandoned the idea of a shower and slipped his hand into Sam's as they walked.

There had been a time when he would have found it strange, or even wrong, to walk through the halls with Sam, hand in hand. It seemed a long time ago and long ways away though. He could feel the turmoil in his brother, and he wasn't sure if it was Sam's gifts from Daniel projecting that or Dean's own relatively new ability to read people's emotions starting to come to the front. Before he could sort it out, they were at Daniel's door.

As if on cue, the door opened and Daniel smiled at them, welcoming them in to his chambers. "The Winchester Brothers hand in hand, what a beautiful thing to see." Daniel embraced Sam first, pulling him into a deep kiss, then turned to Dean to do the same. Dean's eyes closed and he melted against Daniel, the flush as new as the first time and the outpouring of lust and love and desire filling Dean with the need to be closer to him.

When Daniel stepped back, he gestured toward the inner room. "I had breakfast brought up, come join me."

Sam followed Daniel and Dean followed Sam, all three of them settling to the floor around a low table filled with fruits and pastries and coffee. “So, Sam, I take it that your visit is to do with the young man Wayne and Chen delivered in the middle of the night last night?”

Dean thought he saw Sam stiffen up, but then he exhaled and sagged a little as Daniel poured them both coffee. “Yes, sir. He's a predator. He gets virgins drunk, then takes advantage of them. We've had a few of his victims come to us for help.”

Daniel nodded thoughtfully. “It took a lot out of you to subdue him.”

Sam nodded. “More than I thought. I can't seem to shake the fatigue.”

Daniel smiled and nodded. “I can help with that. And, since you're here, maybe you can help me with something too.”

“Anything, Daniel, you know that.”

With that Daniel turned to Dean. “Dean here has made outstanding progress. So much so that I have decided that he's ready for his next promotion.”

Dean felt a warm buzz of pleasure at the words and grinned. “So soon? I wasn't expecting that.”

Sam's hand took his, holding it close.

“This is a big step, Dean. If you accept what I am offering you will gain new gifts, new responsibilities, you will be sent out into the outside world to interact with others.”

Dean fingered the pale purple stone on the leather thong around his wrist. He had advanced in the ranks quickly, partially because his brother was one of Daniel's Alphas and partially because Daniel seemed to have plans that included him. “Are you sure I'm ready?”

Daniel smiled. “You will be. The ceremony for this is a little harder. That's why it's good Sam is here. I can help him and he can help me and together we can bring you the last little way. But I don't want to rush you. If you think you need more time, just say so. We'll wait.”

“No, no...it's what I want.” Dean said tentatively, looking to Sam for reassurance. “What do I have to do?”

“For starters, eat your breakfast. You'll need your strength.”

Dean picked up a muffin and picked at it. Sam was uncomfortable, but Dean wasn't sure why, but considering the arrival of their father and the whole thing with this guy they brought in, he supposed uncomfortable was normal. Dean wasn't entirely comfortable either. The promotion was unexpected and he didn't know what to expect, though he'd been nervous before, just to discover that the graduation ceremony was largely just sex.

Dean was good at sex. Of course Daniel didn't require just sex, he wanted the emotional stuff too. Sam was better at that than Dean was, but he'd come a long way.

Daniel's hand fell on his arm. “Dean, you worry too much.”

Dean smiled. “I'm just...nervous I guess.” He looked at Sam who smiled and slid his hand up Dean's thigh.

“Don't be. You know we both love you. We would never let anything hurt you.”

Daniel chuckled a little and sipped at his coffee. “Unless, of course, that is what brings you pleasure.”

Dean relaxed then, leaning into Sam as he ate. All too soon, Daniel was stirring. “You two take a few moments. I have some preparations to see to. Sam, get him ready.”

Daniel left the room, headed into the small ritual room just off his bedroom. It was directly above the power rooms below, where groups of people kept the sexual energy lifted, feeding here, strengthening Daniel's power.

Sam kissed his cheek to get his attention. “I'm happy for you, Dean. This is a big step. You'll be just two steps below an Alpha. You'll be assigned time in the power rooms, you'll get to go out on recruiting trips.”

He moved so that he had his legs around Dean, pulling him in close. “You've come so far.” His kiss was tender and Dean tried to relax into his brother, though the idea of the ceremony had him distracted. “It's not so bad. You're going to get your first real taste of Daniel's power. You'll be bathed, then you'll be asked some questions. Just answer them from your heart. Daniel will take away the stone.” Sam's hands touched the bracelet while his lips traced over Dean's face. “For that moment, you'll be vulnerable, then he will bring you a cup. Drink it all, and when you have, the three of us will have sex. When he comes inside you Dean, the feeling will be unbelievable. Then he'll give you the new stone.”

And then he would need sleep. Dean knew that from experience.

The door to the ritual room opened and Sam kissed him. “That's our cue. Come on.” He stood and reached a hand down to help Dean up, keeping the hand and leading him to the room.

Daniel was naked, his body glistening in the light of the candles around the room. At the door, they paused, shedding their clothes. A hush settled as they entered the room and the door closed behind them. Sam led Dean to the center of the room, then went to Daniel.

They kissed, slow and messy, then slowly Daniel lifted his arms, a knife in one hand. He sliced through the meaty part of his palm and offered his hand to Sam. Sam glanced once at Dean, then cradled the hand and brought it to his mouth. Some part of him thought he should be shocked to watch Sam drinking Daniel's blood. Instead, he was aroused. A lot aroused.

He tried to pull his eyes away, but couldn't, not until he felt Daniel's eyes. Dean looked up at him, pulled in by the intense blue that flooded with black as Sam drank. Sam's head lifted, his eyes closed as he dragged in air, his face bloody. Daniel turned, his hand still bleeding, holding it over the gold goblet on the altar, letting blood fall into it. When he lifted his hand and licked over the skin, the cut disappeared.

Daniel caught Sam's hand and held it up, slicing quickly over his palm and lifting the hand to his mouth, his eyes on Dean, watching Dean swallow hard as the sight filled him with an aching _want_ he'd never felt. Daniel turned Sam's hand and let several drops of his blood fall into the cup too. Then he licked over Sam's hand, healing the wound.

Sam lifted a basin from the altar and approached Dean. He went to his knees and settled the basin on the floor beside him, lifting a cloth from it and wringing it out. The water was warm and it tingled as Sam washed Dean's feet, shins and calves, up to his thighs.

Dean was hard long before Sam got anywhere near his cock. The warm water did nothing to lesson his arousal. Sam worked diligently, around to his ass, swiping the cloth through his crack, up to his hole. Sam guided Dean to his knees then and continued to wash his body.

His whole body was starting to tingle and feel...alive...like his skin was waking up from twenty-five years of sleep. Sam washed his face, then leaned in to kiss him. “Breathe, Dean. Let it open you up. Feel everything.”

Sam wasn't wrong. He could feel the tiny currents in the air, the heat of Sam's body, the energy radiating up from the floor, the power of Daniel as he approached. In fact, Daniel radiated heat and lust and power that was incredible and had Dean a little dizzy. Daniel's hand took Dean's chin.

“Dean Winchester, what do you desire?”

Dean blinked a little and his mouth opened, the word coming out of him without thought. “Love.”

A small smile played around Daniel's lips. “And who do you love?”

“You, Sam...everyone.” Dean responded with no hesitation. His heart pounded inside him with it, the love he had for them, the desire to be with them.

“What will you do for those you love?”

“Anything.” Dean said, “Anything that is needed.”

“Will you taste my gifts, Dean, and take them out into the world to share with those who need your love?”

“Yes, Daniel.” He nodded into Daniel's hand.

Beside him, Sam stood, going to the altar for the goblet. Daniel's fingers left Dean's face and lifted his wrist, working the clasp of the bracelet and letting it slide off Dean's wrist. The absence was profound, Dean's skin ached for the feel of the leather and stone. It was silly, to miss something so small, but it was like a piece of himself had been removed.

A single tear slipped down his cheek. Daniel kissed it away, licking his lips to taste the salt before he took the goblet from Sam. “In this cup, Dean, is life, power, transformation. Drink of this, drink of me and mine, and take us inside you.”

Dean took the goblet and lifted it to his lips. He could smell the strong wine, laced with spices and herbs and blood. He drank it down in two big swallows, handing the goblet back before sitting back on his heels.

The room was warm, warmer than it had been, and Dean was suddenly aware of more than the air and the heat…he could hear Sam and Daniel breathing, could smell them, smell the candles and the incense. He could taste the wine and all that was in it, the earthy undercurrent of the drugs. Everything seemed to undulate around him, pulsing with power. Daniel knelt in front of him, his tongue gliding over Dean's lips, his lips pressing kisses along Dean's mouth.

"Can you feel me, Dean?" Daniel asked, though Dean wasn't sure he actually spoke.

"Yes, yes…want you…" Dean responded.

"Who is it you want?" Sam asked, moving behind him, his mouth tracing Dean's shoulder up to his neck.

"You." Dean responded, turning to kiss Sam messy and wet. Daniel pulled him back, though he looked less like Daniel now.

"Who do you want Dean? Who do you love?" Daniel asked and while Dean doesn't quite understand the question, Daniel's eyes grew dark and Dean blinked, finding someone decidedly not Daniel when he looked back.

"Dad?" Dean's voice quavered, his hand lifting to touch the familiar face.

"Do you love him?" Sam asked in Dean's ear and Dean had to swallow before he could nod.

"Yes." Dean could hardly breathe as his father's face leaned in and kissed him, the scruff of his mustache and beard tickling as his lips closed over Dean's and his voice rumbled through him, though Dean couldn't make out the words. "Please."

"Shh…it's okay." Daniel-John whispered, his hand moving to Dean's cock. "I love you, Son."

"I love you." Dean echoed, tears flowing unchecked down his face. He'd never had that freedom, to speak his love, not to John, not to Sam…never before finding Daniel. He surged up to catch Daniel-John and kiss him fervently.

Sam's body pressed against him from behind, Sam's fingers sliding over his ass and down to his hole. He pressed in and Dean hissed, leaning further into Daniel, licking at his father's lips, licking them open so he could taste inside.

When Sam's cock filled him, Dean nearly came.

His skin burned to the touch of their skin, to Sam and _Dad_ and love so palpable he could taste it. Sam rocked up into him, and Dean pulled _Dad_ in, kissing him and trying to get him closer, get more…because it wasn't enough.

Sam lay back on the floor, bringing Dean with him, his knees bent and spread, Dean's legs curled around them as he rode down on Sam's cock and drew _Dad_ closer. Sparks lit up the dark behind his closed eyes when a finger slid inside him alongside Sam's cock. It worked into him and out again, opening him up.

Dean gasped when that finger was gone and in it's place was the head of a cock. Sam's hands slipped into Dean's, fingers lacing together to pull his hands free, away from where Daniel was easing his cock in with Sam's. "Fuck." Dean clenched around them, then tried to relax.

A hand cupped to the back of his head, pulling him forward and his father's face greeted him when he opened his eyes. "Dean."

Dean nodded and bore down on the two of them, mouth falling open as he took what they were offering, his own cock spitting come up between them. Sam's hands held his hips for balance, then Sam was coming, easing the friction between the two cocks inside him and Dean took Daniel's cock deeper, then Daniel was coming too, though it was his father's voice yelling out and Dean was dropped back to lay across Sam's chest, panting.

When Daniel returned, he was himself again and the leather thong now held a deep green stone. Daniel put it around Dean's wrist and knelt beside him and Sam to kiss Dean softly. "You should rest now. No duties until tomorrow. Sam will stay with you."

"Thank you Daniel." Dean whispered, letting Daniel help him up off the floor. He and Sam withdrew, redressing in the outer room before Sam took his hand and together they headed for Sam's room, since his was more spacious and had a bigger bed. Sam laid down on the bed and held his hand out for Dean.

Dean smiled and slid in beside him, letting Sam wrap him up in his big arms and whisper "I love you" into Dean's ear.

 

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/phantisma/pic/0002xfgb/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Sam disappeared, and no matter how hard they looked, John and Dean couldn't find him. Then Dean went missing. John Winchester searches for them, enlisting the help of friends at first to find them, and then once he has to save them from the cult that has brainwashed them with sex and magic. But this is no ordinary cult, and their leader is the demon John's been hunting since his wife died. He isn't about to let his favorite followers go without a fight.

"Sam's not here." Jessica said when she opened the door.

John frowned a little because he had been watching the house since the early hours of the morning and Sam hadn't left, not that he'd seen. But he couldn't come out and say that.

"Do you know when he'll be back?" John asked instead. 

She pushed the door open in invitation and he stepped in. "Coffee?"

He nodded and followed her into the kitchen where she poured him a cup and handed it over.

"To be honest, no, I don't know when he'll be home." She took her own cup and sat in one of the chairs. "He had to go up to San Francisco to deal with some…issues."

"Issues?" John sipped at the coffee, smiling at the first taste. It was surprisingly good, just the way he liked it. 

She shook her head, setting her cup on the table and standing. "Nothing to worry about. Just a young man in crisis. Sam's going to help him get on his feet."

"Sam is? How?"

She sort of shrugged as she came closer, one hand trailing up his arm as she moved behind him. "The same way I helped him when he came here, I suppose. Be his friend, talk to him, let him talk." She cupped John's face as she leaned in and her breath tasted of coffee as she whispered, "Kissing…I really like the kissing." 

He didn't move as her lips touched his, as her tongue dared to cross into his mouth. "See?"

John exhaled and pushed his chair back, startling her. "I'm sorry, did I go too fast?" She shook her head, blond hair cascading over her shoulders as she straddled his lap. "I thought you would appreciate the symmetry." John blinked and for a moment he didn't see Jessica, he saw Mary. "I mean, guys like you have a type, right?" She kissed him again, and John's eyes fluttered closed, images of his long dead wife filling his head. His hands lifted to hold her, his body believing the lie as he opened his mouth to her questing tongue and the weight of her pressed against him.

His thoughts were slow, Mary and Jessica intertwining in his mind. He wondered if she'd drugged his coffee. He almost didn't care. She felt so good in his arms, so warm and alive and her kisses were deliciously distracting. He wanted her, wanted this.

His thigh started to vibrate and it took him a moment to realize it was his phone in his pocket. He got one hand loose and into his pocket. Jessica sat back in frustration as John flicked open the phone after seeing Sam's name on the caller ID. "Sam?"

"I have someone here who wants to talk to you."

John pushed Jessica off his lap and stood, walking out of the kitchen. 

"Dad?"

He stopped, staring at the phone a second. "Dean?"

"Yeah. So…Sam said you were looking for me."

"Hell yes, I've been looking for you for six months Dean." John said, anger flushing through him. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"Don't be angry. I needed some time. I needed to get my head on straight." He could hear Dean shifting the phone. "So…I'd like to see you. If you're still around."

"Yeah, I'm still around. Where are you? I'll come to you."

"I'm in San Francisco. I'll text you the address."

"I can be there in an hour or so."

"See you then." The call ended and still John held the phone to his ear wondering how it could be that easy. He turned to find Jessica watching him from the doorway to the kitchen. "You knew all along he hadn't left."

She shrugged a little. "He wanted some time. He needed it." She came toward him slowly, hips moving suggestively. "I'm not saying you were a bad parent, John, but both of your boys were pretty fucked up when they came to me. Good thing I know what to do with fucked up pretty boys though. I helped them. I could help you."

She tried to caress his face, but he caught her hand. "I don't know what you think you're doing, young lady, but I want no part of your help."

His phone buzzed as the text came through with the address. He stormed out of the place and into his truck, hoping the traffic wasn't as insane as it had been coming down from San Francisco.

 

Sam wasn't convinced that this was the best plan. Dean was still tired from the promotion, and he hadn't adjusted to the new gifts the ceremony had given him, but both Daniel and Dean seemed to think it was the right thing to do. Daniel wanted John Winchester to join them, and he could think of no better way to win him over than through his sons.

Which Sam knew had been part of the plan all along, he wasn't protesting the plan itself, just the timing. Dean wasn't ready. Still, he sat with Dean on the steps to the temple and waited. Dean seemed calm, though he looked oddly out of place in his street clothes. It had been so long since Sam had seen him dressed that way that it felt wrong.

The truck pulled up and parked and Sam had a sense of déjà vu. Six months before the Impala had sat there, Dean leaning against it making that face as Sam came down the stairs. Dean stood, glancing aside at Sam once before he was stepping down the stairs.

He grinned wide as their father stepped out of the truck, throwing his arms open and hugging John Winchester tightly. Sam followed him down the stairs, watching as his father's face flicked up to the temple, taking in the whole scene.

Sam could feel the disapproval warring with his need to make sure that Dean was okay, the relief fighting the anger. He wondered how much of it Dean was feeling. 

"It is good to see you." Dean was saying as Sam reached the bottom of the stairs. "Don't be angry with Sam. I asked him not to tell you."

Dean pulled John in again, hugging him tight and thumping his back. "Damn, I missed you."

John stepped back, looking at Sam before looking Dean over. "So…what the hell? You disappear for six months, you find Sam and don't tell me, you give your car away? You tell your brother to lie to me when I finally find him?" He gestured up at the temple. "And what the hell is this place?"

Dean smiled at him slowly. "I'll tell you everything. I promise."

"We could go inside." Sam offered, knowing his father wouldn't until he'd had a chance to check the place out. "Or there's a diner down the street." He stepped in closer, a hand on his father's arm, ready to push him a little to convince him to hear Dean out. What he found surprised him. Jessica. He could feel her touch, she'd been attempting to mark him on her own.

"Yeah, I could eat." Dean said. "And they make the best burgers, Dad. You'll love 'em. Come on." Dean started walking. After the slightest hesitation John followed.

"I'll catch up. I just need to make a call." Sam said, pulling his phone out and dialing Jess. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Sam asked when she picked up.

"I almost had him Sam." Jessica said. "He was nearly there, and then you called."

"You know Daniel wanted me to handle him. Me and Dean." Sam started walking, not wanting to leave Dean alone with their father for too long. "He's not a dumb college kid, Jess. He'll figure it out and he'll come after Daniel. He's a fucking hunter."

"Then I guess you two wonder twins had better work fast." She hung up on him, clearly angry that he'd questioned her. He shoved the phone in his pocket and stormed into the diner. Dean and their father were in a booth already, drinks served.

"I got you a cup of coffee, Sammy." Dean said, patting the bench next to him. Sam slid into the booth, offering a tight smile.

"Everything okay?" John asked, sipping at his own cup of coffee.

"Yeah, just…stuff. You know. Relationship stuff."

"With Jessica?" John asked, his eyes on Sam's.

"Jess is a great girl." Dean interjected. "She was very accommodating when I crash landed on their couch."

"She seems…nice." John offered, still not looking away.

"She is nice." Sam agreed. "We're just…disagreeing on something. We'll work it out."

John nodded slowly, then turned to Dean. "Okay, spill it."

Dean fidgeted a little, then nodded. "Yeah, okay. So, I should go back to the beginning." Sam could tell he was aiming to tell the truth, to tell their father about the idol that had started all of this. Part of him wanted to stop Dean, because he knew that it would piss John off. Then he realized what Dean was doing. 

John would get pissed, and then protective, that something supernatural had affected his boys and he hadn't been aware of it. 

"Remember old Joe Mendon? We went to get the hex box from his place after he died?"

John nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together.

"So, you told us not to touch anything…but you know me."

"You touched something." John supplied, glancing at Sam.

"Yeah, some damn African mating idol." Sam said. "Worse, he threw it at me when you came out of the other room."

Dean cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "So…we were…we got very…"

"Horny." Sam offered, and Dean actually blushed. 

"Yeah. That. We tried everything. Cold showers, masturbation. Nothing worked." Dean glanced up at John, then to Sam, then turned his eyes back to his hands around his coffee cup. "Then Sam found the damn thing on the old man's website and discovered that it was a mating thing, that it supposedly made it so we had to…" He turned even redder, but Sam could already feel his father's anger shifting to concern.

"Mate?" John asked softly. Dean nodded.

"We…in the heat of the moment we couldn't see anyway around it…and when it was over…" Dean bit his lip and Sam reached for his hand, squeezing it right there where John could see. "It brought back some bad memories for me." Dean said. "Only with Sam in the place I had been. I couldn't look at him, I was sure he hated me. I hated me."

Dean hung his head and Sam let go of his hand to rub his back. "I didn't hate him, but I was confused, I was angry. When I got the letter from Stanford, I saw it as a way to start over. I just wanted to figure out what had happened and why, and what it meant." Sam shook his head, feeling out his father's shifting emotional status. "And that's when I found Jessica. I was pretty messed up, and she took me in and helped me out. Then she introduced me to someone who helped me a whole lot more."

"And when I showed up here, I was in an even worse place than Sam had been." Dean said softly. "I was still pretty sure he hated me and that I was the reason he ran away. I hated myself for touching something I shouldn't and dragging Sam into it with me. I was fighting the memory of what happened to me all those years ago." He shook his head. "It's a wonder I didn't lose my shit and completely fall off the deep end."

John held up his hands. "Wait. What memory, Dean?

Dean sat back in the booth, his face tight. Despite everything he still didn't like to talk about it and Sam couldn't blame him. Sam covered Dean's hand and looked up at John. "It was when we were in Minnesota. Dean was fourteen and he wanted to play football, remember?"

John nodded. "I remember telling him no."

"And then you went on a hunt and Dean faked your signature on a permission slip and joined the team anyway. The coach, however wasn't exactly a good guy, and he raped Dean." Sam said it low, so his voice didn't travel, and he watched as the words hit their father nearly as solidly as a blow to the stomach. "He didn't tell anybody. I was in the next room when it happened and I didn't even know."

John's eyes narrowed as he looked at Dean, trying to tell if this was the truth. "Is that true?"

Dean nodded slowly. "And it all got wrapped around in my head. What he did to me, what I did to Sam. I was a mess, Dad."

"And…somehow this…place…made it better?" The speculation and cynicism in his voice was palpable.

"Well no. But Sam forgiving me helped. And Daniel helped." 

Sam could see by the look on his father's face that he wasn't buying that. The emotions underneath were far more complicated, rage, hurt, a quiet despair starting to bubble up that his son would go through something like that and never tell him. "Daniel?"

Dean smiled then and nodded. "Daniel. He's a pretty cool guy. I know what you're thinking Dad. I thought it too when I first got here. What is this new age, touchy-feely dude going to do to help me, right? I didn't want someone fucking around in my head. But Daniel isn't like that."

"No? What exactly is Daniel like?" John asked, his eyes narrowing.

Dean looked to Sam for a place to start. "He's a good friend, a good listener. He understands, and he gives you a place to start over, to think about the things that have happened and why." Dean offered.

Sam nodded. "It's really just that simple."

"Sounds like a bunch of shit to me." John replied. "I'd like to meet this guy and see for myself."

"Sure." Sam said. "Just not today. He's in classes and meetings all afternoon. I can talk to him though, maybe tomorrow?"

"I'm not going anywhere." 

That Sam believed. His father was not going to be easy to convince. But he also knew that all they needed to do was get John Winchester in the same room with Daniel, possibly push him just a little, and Daniel would find the way in.


	3. All You Ever Learned of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Sam disappeared, and no matter how hard they looked, John and Dean couldn't find him. Then Dean went missing. John Winchester searches for them, enlisting the help of friends at first to find them, and then once he has to save them from the cult that has brainwashed them with sex and magic. But this is no ordinary cult, and their leader is the demon John's been hunting since his wife died. He isn't about to let his favorite followers go without a fight.

 

"You heard me." John said into the phone as he dropped his duffle bag on the motel bed. "Temple of Liberation. San Francisco."

"Are you telling me that's where you found the boys?" Bobby asked.

John pulled a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. I don't know what the fuck--You should have seen them Bobby. They were acting like _this_ is fucking normal." Not that he was telling Bobby what _this_ was.

"Calm down. At least now you know where they are, and they're together."

"For all the good that's going to do us." John said. He shook his head and pulled the bottle of whiskey out of his bag. "I'm meeting this…Daniel person who runs the place day after tomorrow. I need information."

"I'll do some digging, see what I can come up with." Bobby said.

"Call me as soon as you have something."

"I will. You watch your back."

"Always do." John ended the call and dropped the phone onto the bed.

The day had gone from bad to worse pretty damn fast. He was beginning to suspect that there was a lot more sex magic going on here than just that damn idol Dean had picked up three years before.

And that alone was bad enough. A lot of times, old, old magic like that didn't have a cure, and if it was what the boys had told him it was, they were pretty damn fucked. He snorted without humor as he poured himself a healthy shot of the whiskey and sat on the bed.

He hadn't let himself actually think about that…or the other things Sam had told him. He drank half the whiskey in his glass and exhaled. They hadn't gone into details, but it was clear that they had had sex. With each other. His boys.

He downed the rest of the whiskey and reached for the bottle, filling the glass a second time.

He'd always known Dean's compulsive need to handle things was going to get him into trouble. This wasn't what he'd imagined, but then what father would ever imagine _this_.

He tossed back the second shot and swallowed the burn, closing his eyes. He could see it on them now, the strain between them before Sam left, the way they avoided looking at each other, touching one another. But that led him to the way the boys had been in that diner.

The casual touches. Soft smiles and private looks.

It made his stomach tighten, his imagination filling in the details the boys had skimped on, the knowledge that what had made them both "better" was giving in to whatever perversity the idol's magic had forced on them. They were sleeping together…and not just as a way to deal with the curse.

They had accepted it.

His stomach heaved, and John dashed for the bathroom, vomiting violently, the stench of Jack and stomach acid only making the sick feeling worse.

 

 

 

"You aren't going to like it." Bobby said as way of hello when John answered his phone.

"I already don't like it." John responded.

"Temple of Liberation, opened its doors five years ago. As near as I can tell the property is owned by one Daniel Porter, though I can't find anything else about the man. No birth certificate, no driver's license, nothing."

"That doesn't surprise me." John replied, looking over his own notes from watching the building all morning.

"There have been a few complaints, none of which got very far. A handful of claims of being held prisoner, two rape charges that were dropped the same day they were filed. I did find one former member though who has gone on record claiming that the temple is a sex cult, but apparently he got labeled a whacko and no one believed him."

"Whacko?" John asked, looking up as Sam emerged from the temple and came down the steps.

"Yeah, apparently he claimed that this Daniel character bestowed powers on his disciples through sex orgies and blood ritual."

John frowned as Sam greeted Jessica with a nearly obscene kiss at the base of the steps. "What kind of powers?"

"The ability to read minds, feelings, that kind of thing. Apparently the higher up in the organization you get, the more power you get."

John nodded, his mind flashing back to the stones both Jessica and Sam wore. Dean had a similar one on his wrist, though it was a different color. "If he's using sex and blood magic, it's going to be fucking hard to break." Hard enough that they might not have a chance…especially if they had to break both of them.

"You're telling me." Bobby said. "So we thinking demon?"

John shrugged, watching Sam and Jessica head away from the temple. "Maybe…or just some damn moron fucking with black magic maybe."

"How deep are they, John?" Bobby asked, concern in his voice.

"How soon can you get here?" John asked instead of answering.

Bobby huffed. "I'm hauling ass, but it's going to be at least midnight."

"Call Joshua, get him up here. Caleb if he's around. I'm going to grab them tonight."

"Wait for me to get there." Bobby said.

"If I can. Get here." John closed his phone and set off after Sam, keeping him just in sight. He was going to need to get something more of a plan together, but he wanted to understand more before he did.

To John's surprise, Sam and Jessica were headed to a soup kitchen run a few blocks away from the temple. He watched through the window as they worked the serving line, handing out bowls of hot soup and fresh fruit. After about a half hour, John turned away, startled to find Dean watching him.

"I remember when I couldn't sneak up on you in bare feet." Dean said with a smile.

"I do too." John side, rubbing a hand over his face. "I was out wandering the city, spotted your brother."

Dean chuckled and slapped a hand on his shoulder. "You've been sitting outside the temple all morning watching, and followed Sam and Jess when they left."

"Okay, yeah. So I was." John shouldn't have been surprised that Dean busted him. "I'm worried about you boys."

Dean nodded. "I know. I could see it in your face last night when you left us." He shrugged a little. "Do you believe that we're happy?"

John licked his lips, not sure how to answer. Part of him yelled that he should take the opportunity, grab Dean now, get him safely away from the fucking cult and lock him up. "I can see that you are, Dean. I'm just worried about why."

Dean's smile was a little sad. "I guess you figured out that Sam and I…"

John held up his hand. "Don't say it."

"You're upset. I get that."

"Do you?" John asked, shaking his head. "You boys need help. You should have come to me in the first place so we could deal with the idol."

"Maybe, but it wouldn't have made a difference. What's done is done. Sam and I have found a way to be okay with it."

"No, Dean. No. It isn't okay." John said, despite not wanting to get dragged into the argument.

"I've learned a lot from Daniel about accepting things we can't change. We define what is normal for our lives, Dad. And we re-define it as things change."

"Having sex with your brother isn't normal, Dean. I don't care who's defining the word."

Dean's face was pinched as he looked away.

John kicked himself mentally. He was supposed to be winning him over, not sending him running away. "Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I wasn't going to…I don't want to fight."

"I don't want to fight either." Dean said after a few moments of silence. He gestured at the window. "The temple runs the kitchen. We all take shifts cooking and serving the homeless. We get a lot of runaways and street kids in here."

"It seems you get a big crowd." John observed, looking back through the window.

"Times are hard." Dean countered. "I'm actually late for my shift, I was supposed to leave with Sam, but I got held up."

He wanted to ask, but bit his tongue. "I should let you get going then."

"I'm on until five, but if you want to grab a steak and a beer when I'm done, there's this great place not far from here."

"I'd like that a lot." John said, an idea starting to form. He would need to pick up a few things before then.

"Me too. Meet me here then?"

"I will."

John watched him go, then checked his watch. He had just over four hours to pull things together. One way or another, he was getting his boys out of there tonight.

 

 

 

Dean was waiting for him when John pulled up in his truck. John leaned over the seat and opened the passenger door, grinning at Dean as he pushed off the wall. "We could walk there." Dean said, climbing into the cab.

"Yeah, but I have a drive to my hotel after, so I figured…"

"I just hope there's parking close enough to make it worth it." Dean pointed as he put his seat belt on. "Down here, take the left, then the next left and a right onto the main road."

John nodded and pulled them away from the curb, taking the turns. As soon as he'd made the right, Dean pointed to the restaurant. John nodded and started looking for a spot, but as he did, a car at a meter only a few feet from the door put on it's signal and started to pull out.

"Well, that doesn't happen everyday in San Francisco." Dean grinned. "Must be your lucky day, Dad."

"I hope so." John muttered as he pulled in and parked.

He had everything set. All he needed was the right window of opportunity. Dean led the way into the bar, greeting the hostess by name and kissing her cheek, winking at John.

"I have a table all set for you. If you'll follow me."

"Perks of knowing people." Dean said with a grin.

She set them at a secluded booth with high back benches that gave them a semblance of privacy. "They have the best steak here." Dean said. "Me and Sam come in here at least once a week. Beer's good and cold too."

As if on cue, a waiter set two frosted mugs of beer down on the table, grinning at Dean. "Well, this isn't Sam you've brought in."

Dean grinned. "Ethan, my father, John Winchester. Dad, this is Ethan. He's a grad student working on a degree in…something or other."

Ethan held out his hand and shook John's. "Micro-biology, actually." He looked back at Dean. "So, you want the usual?"

"Yeah, make it two. Trust me Dad, you'll love it."

"I'm sure I will." He didn't miss the eye contact between them, or the way Dean fidgeted.

"How's the pie?" Dean asked just as Ethan would have walked away.

He grinned. "Katie put up an apple just for you, want to come have a peek?"

"You mind?" Dean asked, glancing at him.

"No, I'm a big boy, Dean." John said. "Go on." He lifted his beer and sipped at it, watching Dean throw his arm around Ethan's shoulder as they headed toward the kitchen. He looked around him carefully and pulled the vial from his pocket. He dumped the contents in Dean's beer, pocketed the vial and lifted his own glass, drinking it more than half way gone.

Dean was gone a lot longer than it took to look at pie, and when he came back he was flushed, his lips puffy. "Thirsty much?" Dean asked as he slid into the booth, grabbing his own beer.

"I guess you'll just have to catch up." John responded with a grin, watching Dean rise to the challenge. He sucked down half the beer before Ethan returned with a basket of bread and a plate of French fries smothered in cheese.

"On the house." Ethan winked as he walked away and Dean reached for the fries, making huffing noises when they were too hot in his mouth.

Some things never did change.

"Bobby sends a slap upside the head." John picked at the fries, watching Dean closely. He had time, the drug he'd been able to get his hands on worked slowly, but once it hit his system, John needed to move fast to get them to the truck and away to where Joshua was waiting.

Dean chuckled. "How is Bobby?"

"Old." John responded, laughing himself. "He's got a hunt for me, in Milwaukee of all places."

Dean seemed to relax a little. "Yeah? That mean you're going to hit the road?"

"Haven't decided yet. It's a werewolf, so I got time before the next cycle."

Dean nodded and sipped at his beer. "Wouldn't want you running off just when you got here. Least not before we got a chance to make sure you know we're both okay."

John nodded. "Exactly my plan."


	4. All You Ever Learned of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Sam disappeared, and no matter how hard they looked, John and Dean couldn't find him. Then Dean went missing. John Winchester searches for them, enlisting the help of friends at first to find them, and then once he has to save them from the cult that has brainwashed them with sex and magic. But this is no ordinary cult, and their leader is the demon John's been hunting since his wife died. He isn't about to let his favorite followers go without a fight.

The air was sticky hot, clinging to him as Daniel touched him, petting through the sweat and down to Sam's thick, hard cock. "Beautiful, Sam." Daniel murmured as his body pressed to Sam's back, his cock dragging through his crack and up to his hole. "Just like that."

Sam groaned with the effort to keep still while Daniel filled him, wanting to push back, to hurry this, to push him, but this was not to be hurried. This was sacred and powerful. His senses were all blown open, the input almost too much.

He reached back, over his head, leaning back at the same time, his mouth questing for Daniel's. He was rewarded with a bruising kiss, teeth and tongue and Daniel's hand dragging down his cock with a tight grip.

Sam groaned again, head dropping forward. Sweat dripped from his nose and ran down his arms as they braced against the floor, holding him up. Daniel murmured in some forgotten language, one finger drawing runes into the sweat slicked skin of Sam's back. "Think of your father." Daniel whispered, conjuring images in Sam's mind. Sam held one, the memory of seeing him at the door the day he'd shown up unexpectedly, focused on everything about him; the gray in his beard, the smell of beer and dirt and motel soap, the taste of his anger, the power of his presence. "Yes. Right like that."

Daniel thrust up into him again, his fingers moving in an intricate pattern as he murmured the power words. Desire swelled inside him, craving. Sam breathed through it, moaning as Daniel fucked up into him harder. "Take what I give you Samuel. Use it to bring him peace."

Sam felt the movement, smelled the blood, and opened his eyes, watching as Daniel brought his arm close to Sam's mouth. Blood welled in a line down his arm, calling Sam. He surged toward it, both hands lifting to cradle Daniel's arm and pull it to his mouth.

He licked up the blood that was dripping, licked up over the wound before his mouth closed over it and his eyes rolled closed. The copper tang and salty burn gave way to fire, and Sam swallowed, his cock swelling as power flowed into him from Daniel.

Under them he could feel the writhing masses of Daniel's followers as they fucked in a hundred variations, the energy amassing and funneling into Daniel, then into Sam. He knew their names, their lives, everything about them, could taste their spark.

Daniel's cock filled him, his come as hot and potent as his blood. Sam lifted his face, licking at the blood still on his lips, dripping off his chin. He panted through Daniel's thrusting, head falling back on Daniel's shoulder as Daniel bit into his neck muscle and squeezed Sam's cock.

Sam's orgasm rippled through him, filling Daniel's hand. When it had stopped, Daniel lifted his hand, feeding the come into Sam's mouth and wiping up the blood to feed Sam as well. Sam licked his palm, sucked at his fingers until they were clean.

Daniel's cock inside him was still hard. He kissed his way up to Sam's sweaty hair. "You belong to me, Sam." Daniel whispered. "Bring him to me."

Sam nodded. "I will Daniel." He turned, Daniel's cock slipping out of him, and kissed Daniel deeply. Power thrummed through him. He could _see_ Daniel, not the human form he wore, but the demon underneath. He was radiant.

"I love you Sam."

"And I love you, Daniel."

"Go get cleaned up. Call your brother. He should be nearly ready."

 

 

They were nearly through their meal when John saw the first signs of the drug affecting Dean. His words slurred a little and he shook his head like he was dizzy.

"You okay, Son?"

Dean frowned. "I don't know. Feels weird."

John forced a laugh. "Don't tell me you're drunk. You haven't even finished your second beer."

"No…just…fuzzy." Dean blinked and looked up at him. "What was I saying?"

"Something about how you think I'd really like it here?" John said, finishing off his second beer.

"Yeah, there's a lot you'd like." Dean said, squinting at him. "You could stay with Sam."

It was John's turn to blink, an odd desire building inside him to agree with Dean. Maybe it was time to move things along. "You know, you don't look so good."

Dean was starting to sweat and he tugged at his collar. "Yeah…not feeling great either."

"Why don't you let me drive you back?"

Dean nodded and John pulled out his wallet, dropping enough money to cover the bill and sliding out of the booth. Dean followed, grabbing at his arm as they neared the door. "Woah."

John slipped an arm around him to hold him up and took him to the truck, helping him inside. He checked the street as he got in, turning the engine before he was fully in the seat. "Just hold on Dean, it's going to be okay."

"What…" Dean was shaking his head, holding the dashboard. "Did you d'ug me?" His words slurred and he was starting to look a little green.

"It's for your own good, Dean." John pulled onto the freeway and headed for the Bay Bridge. He had to get Dean out to Oakland before he figured out how to get Sam too. Dean's head lolled against the seat, his eyes closing as the drug dragged him under.

John found the deserted looking warehouse building easily enough, and Joshua opened the overhead door to let him pull in next to the ambulance that they would use to get the hell out of California once he had both boys.. "He's out."

Joshua nodded as he opened Dean's door. "Good, that should make him easier to lock down."

"Don't bet on it." John pulled his gun out from under the truck and came around to help Joshua with Dean. "We need to get him settled before I call Sam."

"You sure you want to do this? Both of them at once?"

"What choice do I have?" John asked. They got Dean into an empty room that they had already boarded up and onto one of the gurneys. Joshua was putting the medical restraints on Dean's hand when Dean's pocket started ringing. John fished out the phone. "It's Sam. If Dean doesn't answer…"

"He'll call back. Focus." Joshua said.

John nodded and worked at getting Dean's boots off. "You going to tell me how it is you just know where to find an ambulance no one's using?"

Joshua just grinned and threw him the restraints for Dean's ankles. John put Dean's phone in his pocket and strapped Dean down. "He should be down for a few hours."

"Long enough for us to handle Sam and hit the road." Joshua agreed. "We can get an IV into both of them before we hit the road, keep them under." He double checked the restraints and turned to John. "Bobby called. He said you're an idjit and he's about an hour out."

"You hear from Caleb?"

Joshua nodded. "He's setting up. Should be ready when we get there."

The phone rang again, buzzing against his thigh. He nodded to Joshua and pulled the phone out, exhaling before he opened it.

"Dean?"

"Sam." John stepped out of the room.

"Dad. Where are you? Is Dean with you?"

"Yes, Sam. I have Dean with me. He wasn't feeling well."

"Tell me where you are."

John was supposed to give him the address they'd picked, a motel a little ways away. That was where they were going to get the drop on him. Instead, he opened his mouth and gave Sam the address of the warehouse.

"I'm on my way."

Sam hung up and John cursed, throwing the phone.

"What was that?" Joshua asked.

"I don't know. I couldn't stop myself."

"Are you sure Dean's the only one that got drugged tonight?"

John shook his head. "It was Sam. Something in his voice." Fucking magic. He was going to find the man who did this to them and tear him limb from limb.

 

 

 

Power flowed through him at a frightening level. It had never been this strong before. His blood pulsed with it. He had hardly had to push to get his father to tell him where he'd taken Dean. Of course, Dean had warmed him up. Dean had spent their time alone together gently nudging, and the light drugs Ethan had laced his beer with had helped, but still…he felt like he could take on anyone.

All he had to do was manipulate his father into orgasm, and Sam would have him. He was across the bridge and flying down 880 when a niggling thought that something was wrong started to bug him.

He couldn't place it though and he pushed it aside. This was something his father needed. He'd spent so many years so pent up after the death of their mother. He deserved to be free, just as much as Dean did.

It wouldn't be easy. His father was suspicious by nature, way more than Dean. That was why Daniel had juiced him up this much. He would hold on to the things he thought he knew, the things he believed were right or wrong.

Sam just had to get through to him though. Had to make him see how much better it could be, how beautiful it was to let go.

His father wasn't alone. He knew that before he turned off the engine. He could sense Dean, unconscious…and someone else, someone he didn't know as well. Vaguely familiar. He climbed out of the car outside the warehouse and approached cautiously.

His father opened the door. "Hey, Sam."

"Dad, where's Dean?"

"He's laying down. Inside." John said, watching Sam carefully. Sam reached out for him, but instead of finding his father an open mess of old wounds and sexual needs, he found only a small bit of confusion.

"What did you do to him?" Dean hadn't held up his end. Something had to have distracted him.

"I didn't do anything to him. We had dinner. He wasn't feeling well."

"So you brought him here?" Sam took a step closer and John backed up a step. "Did you drug him? Really?" He shook his head. "You know we only want to help you, Dad. We want you to know what it feels like to be free."

"I do." John said calmly.

Sam felt someone approaching and turned, just in time to take a two by four to the side of his head, knocking him to the ground.

"Shit, Bobby." John said, racing forward.

"He'll be fine." Bobby's voice sounded strange. Sam blinked up as his father knelt beside him. "I'll get the gurney."

Sam felt warm wetness on his neck and his hand fluttered to it, coming away bloody. He tried to get up, tried to move, but his father was shushing him and telling him everything was going to be okay now. He tried, he pushed at his father's head, but all he got was static, and the sensation of something cold pushing into him, pushing against the fire in his blood and lulling him to sleep.

 

 

 

The drive out of California seemed to take forever. John and Joshua rode in the ambulance, dressed like EMTs. Bobby followed in the Impala. Joshua would come back for the truck once they were settled. There were a few tense minutes as they reached the border, but Joshua's paperwork got them waved through and once in Nevada, they just had to drive.

Bobby had researched what he could, called in some markers from experts who knew this kind of situation, cults that increase their hold through magic and sex. Caleb had an isolated spot in the middle of nowhere for the deprogramming, a place long held sacred, first to Native people, then owned by an old hunter who had further fortified it against demonic activity. He had laid in food and supplies and was just putting up the finishing touches on a serious set of wards when Joshua turned them onto the property.

John was in the back, making sure the boys stayed down, under deep sedation. He wasn't even sure how they were going to go about this, only that he had to get them away from the bastard that had bewitched them if he was going to get them back.

The door opened and Joshua and Caleb were there to help him get Sam down, then Dean. Sam was already starting to come around as they wheeled the gurney into the building.

"Dad?" Sam pulled at the restraints, his head turning. "Where are we?"

"Someplace safe." John responded. He and Caleb guided Sam's gurney into the room Caleb had prepared. The old barn was well suited for the task, the storage room complete with a concrete floor he couldn't dig his way out of, no windows. Just the cot and nothing else.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked as Caleb started undoing the restraints.

"You may not believe it now, Sam. But we're helping you." John said, working on the restraints holding Sam's hands. He and Caleb helped Sam off the gurney and onto the cot, then Caleb withdrew with the gurney.

"You drugged me?"

John nodded. "It was for your own good Sam. I know you can't see it, but that place was poisoning your mind. I had to get you away."

Sam shook his head. "No, Dad…you don't understand. Daniel…he's going to be upset. I have to go back."

"No, Son. You don't."

Sam grabbed at his arm. "Where's Dean?"

"He's here too. He's safe. I'm going to take care of both of you."

Sam narrowed his eyes, concentrating. "You have to let us go."

John pulled back, shaking his head. It felt almost like the idea was his own, even though he knew better. "No, Sam."

He moved to the door. "I'm going to give you some time for the drugs to wear off. We'll talk again soon." He closed the door and locked the deadbolt, then lowered the locking bar.

"You okay?" Caleb asked, handing him a mug of coffee.

"Okay?" John asked, sipping the coffee. "No. I am not okay."

"Dean's settled in." Bobby said as he joined them. "Joshua's headed back to return the ambulance."

John nodded and crossed to the table in the makeshift kitchen Caleb had set up in one corner of the barn. They had the boys separated, on opposite ends of the barn. "So, tell me what we know."

Bobby set down a file folder and went to pour himself some coffee. "The Temple of Liberation is a legitimate non-profit, at least as far as Uncle Sam's concerned. They lay low, fly under the radar."

"What about this whacko you told me about?" John asked, dragging the file closer.

"Adam Levy. He's in there. I talked to him on my way to meet you."

"And?" John looked up from the picture of a wiry young man with frizzy hair and glasses.

"Well, he's not as whacko as some might think. What he described sounds an awful lot like a ritual used in ancient Syria, with a few modern twists."

"And this ritual does what exactly?" Caleb asked.

"Well, it was in worship of a demon who bestowed great power on his disciples." Bobby responded, pulling a book out of his bag. "It was said that they could command whole villages in an orgy of sex and sacrifice that reportedly fed power back to the demon."

"Great." John rubbed a hand over his face. "So, what do we do next?"

"We have to break the brainwashing that got them into this in the first place." Bobby said. "He had to have used some trick to pull them in. Your boys ain't that stupid." He drank from his coffee and shook his head. "Okay, Sam ain't that stupid that a pretty face was enough to pull him into this sort of shit."

John bit his lip. "No. Sam's reasons are a lot darker than just that pretty girl. And Dean's too for that matter." He didn't want his friends to know what he knew, but he was going to need their help.

"John, if you can't tell us, we can't help you." Caleb said softly.

"I know." He exhaled. "I don't know the details, but for Dean it stems back to something that happened when he was fourteen. Some coach at one of the schools…hurt him." He couldn't look up. "He never told anyone. Just buried it until something happened between him and Sam."

"Are you saying…" Bobby's voice trailed off and John nodded.

"Yeah, Bobby, I am. Some fucking bastard raped my son and he just kept quiet about it."

They were all quiet for a moment before Caleb asked the next obvious question. "And what happened with him and Sam?"

John sighed heavily and dragged his hand through his hair. "Remember old Joe Mendon's death?" Caleb and Bobby both nodded. "We were the only ones close enough to go in and get that hex box out before his family showed up. Apparently Dean picked up some damn idol and passed it to Sam, and they ended up…I don't know, cursed."

"One of those damn African mating idols he was always peddling around?" Bobby asked frowning. "I thought they were all gimmicks."

"Apparently not all." John growled. "They apparently…" He made hand gestures to indicate what they'd done and stood, pushing his chair back. "A few months later, Sam disappeared."

"Okay, I can see how that might put Sam in a vulnerable state of mind." Caleb said. "It gives us a place to start at least." He picked up his phone. "I've got some deprogramming experts waiting to for me to call and give them some basics. They'll let us know how to proceed."

John watched him go, wanting to throw punches or burn something. He'd never been good at sitting around.

"Why don't you go get some sleep?" Bobby offered. "Caleb set up bedrooms in the house. I'll stay with the boys. We can't do anything until they're clean of the drugs anyway."

John nodded, though he didn't think he'd sleep, at least he needed a break. A few minutes to not think of all the ways he'd failed his boys.

 

 

Sam paced the room. Three steps over cold concrete floors from the cot to the wall. Three more from the locked door to the back wall. He shook his head. This was not supposed to happen. He didn't see it, he didn't understand it.

He frowned. Daniel was going to be angry. Daniel was going to come looking for them. And when Daniel found them, Sam wasn't sure what he would do.

He had been fully awake for hours now, the lead feeling in his legs gone, the buzz in his head vanished.

There was movement outside the door. Sam could feel them…three of them. Bobby, Caleb and John. He reached for his father, but felt resistance. He frowned harder. His father shouldn't resist. Sam only wanted to help him.

The door opened, but instead of John Winchester, Bobby stood there, a tray of food in his hands. The door closed behind him and Bobby nodded tightly.

"Sam."

"Bobby? Where's my father?"

"He won't be coming in to see you just yet. He sent me with some dinner and his promise that you aren't alone."

"This is insane. Let me talk to him."

Bobby looked at him hard and moved to put the tray on the bed. "You and I both know that ain't gonna happen, Son. Best you just deal with it and eat."

Sam tried to feel him out, but Bobby was a solid wall with nothing to grab onto mentally. "What about Dean? Can I see Dean?"

"Maybe when you're both a little more yourselves, okay?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sam snorted as Bobby reached for the door.

Bobby crossed his arms and looked up at Sam. "Do I really need to spell it out for you? You're smarter than that, Sam."

"So this is what…an intervention? Are you going to prove something like this?"

"We're just trying to help Sam."

Bobby left him then, the door closing quickly behind him. Sam crossed to it and tested the knob, not surprised to find it locked again. He pounded on it for a minute, yelling for his father, for Dean.

When his hand hurt, he turned away, leaning into the door. Obviously they thought that by isolating them, they would be able to reason with them…get to them. Turn them against Daniel.

Sam shook his head and went back to pacing. He wouldn't betray Daniel, not after everything Daniel had given him. Daniel loved him and Sam loved Daniel.

Daniel had made everything okay. His love for his brother, his need and desire for Dean, without Daniel, Sam was lost. He would never leave willingly. He had to get back to him. Somehow.

 

 

 

Dean looked up blearily from the corner of the room as the door opened. Caleb stepped into the room, a tray in his hands. Dean squinted at him, not entirely sure he was real.

"Dean?"

Everything was too much, the light, the sound of the door scraping the floor, the way Caleb's voice rose. Dean lowered his head into his knees, covering his head with his hands.

Footsteps echoed on the cold floor and a hand touched his head. "Dean, are you okay?"

Dean lifted his head, blinking up at Caleb. "Where…?"

"Someplace safe." Caleb said, squatting beside him.

"Sam?"

Caleb nodded. "He's here too."

Dean held his head. "I don't feel so good."

"No, I'm betting you don't. Your father had to put you down pretty hard. It's going to take a while to work its way out of you." Caleb pointed at the cot and the tray of food he'd set there. "You should eat."

"I want Sam."

"Sam has his own problems, Dean. We need to get you both better before we let you two see each other." He stood and crossed back to the door. "I'm going to be right out here if you need anything."

Dean watched him go and slowly unfolded himself from the corner. His father. Dean remembered being at dinner with his father, remembered the beer. He'd been supposed to be doing something…but it was all fuzzy. He picked himself up off the floor and went to the door. He didn't understand why it was locked.

He knew this wasn't right. He shouldn't be here…but he wasn't sure where he was supposed to be. He went to the bed and sat on it, lifting the sandwich, sniffing it.

Daniel.

Dean remembered Daniel.

Daniel loved him. Daniel helped him. Daniel gave him Sam. Made everything okay with Sam.

He held on to that.

 

 

 

"No. No. You let me out. You let me out right now." Sam growled from behind the door.

John pressed his back into the door to keep it closed, but he was losing the fight. Sam was insanely strong. Inhumanly strong. Joshua and Caleb held the high powered hose and nodded at him.

John dove out of the way and the door burst open, Sam charging throughw it, just as Caleb turned on the water. Sam fought against the heavy spray, but the water made the floor slick and pushed him back until he was flailing and falling against the wall. John and Bobby ducked around the other two and the hose, moving in while Sam was still struggling.

The wrestled him down, binding his feet and hands so he wouldn't hurt himself, or them.

"Settle down." John said, his voice gruff with tired and worry.

"Or what, you'll shoot me full of your drugs? You think that will keep me away from him? Daniel loves me. Daniel wants me."

"Daniel is using you." John said. "He's a demon Sam."

"I don't care! Let me go." Sam struggled against the restraints. It was time to start weakening him, tearing him down. Making him face what he'd become. They'd already made sure he wasn't possessed, but hadn't ruled out an exorcism as a symbolic way to further pull him away from Daniel's influence.

John held him down while Bobby got Sam's shoes off of him. When his feet were bare, John stood, nodding to Bobby. "I love you, Son."

"You don't love me. You never loved me." Sam spit at him, thrashing around again. "If you loved me you would let me go."

"I can't do that Sam."

John got to the door and turned back. Sam had gone still and was looking up at him. "He'll come for me." Sam said quietly.

"No, Sam. He won't." John shut the door and locked it, leaning his forehead against it.

"That isn't really him." Bobby said softly.

John nodded. "I know."

"He doesn't mean it."

John sighed and turned his back to the door. "I know Bobby." He took the coffee cup Joshua offered with a nod. It had only been twenty-four hours. It was going to get worse before it got better. Sam had gone from trying to talk his way out, to demanding, to throwing himself at the door and they had decided to restrain him to keep him from hurting himself.

"Sam was in for three years, John. That's a long time under that kind of power." Joshua said. "This will take time."

John nodded and sipped at the coffee. "Patience is not one of my better virtues." He set the cup aside and headed for Dean's door. "I'm going to check on Dean."

He listened at Dean's door for a few minutes before opening it. Dean sat on the cot, staring at the floor. He flinched when the door opened, but didn't move. John pulled the door shut and crossed his arms, leaning on the wall. "How you feeling?"

"My head hurts." Dean mumbled, still not looking up.

"I can get you some aspirin."

"Why?" Dean asked after a long silence.

John frowned. "Why, what?"

"Why did you do this?" Dean lifted his head and it was clear he'd been crying. His eyes were rimmed in red. "We were happy."

John shook his head. "I know that you think you were happy, Dean. But in a few days, when your head clears, you're going to know the truth."

"We only wanted you to be happy too. That's why we let you find us." He stood, taking a tentative step toward his father. "We could be so happy together, Dad. If you'd let us show you."

John put out a hand, stopping Dean as he came into reach. "Do you hear what you're saying, Dean? Is that really what you want? The three of us lost inside some demon's sex cult, deluded into thinking we're happy?"

"I'm not deluded. I was happy when Daniel taught me how to love. How to express love."

"What he teaches isn't love." John countered. "It's sex. Nothing more."

"Sex is a physical manifestation of love. It's natural. Beautiful." Dean turned and walked back to the cot. "I could show you."

John swallowed the vague desire to let him, knowing it was a remnant of whatever they'd slipped him and whatever power the demon had given Dean. "No. I'm your father."

Dean shrugged. "Father, brother, sister, mother….they're just words. They don't matter. Love matters, and the expression of that love matters."

"Wow." John shook his head. "You know, you are the last person I expected to ever hear this kind of bullshit out of. Your brother always was a little soft emotionally, took everything so damn personal. But you?"

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." Dean spit at him. "Maybe I'm not the good little soldier you always wanted. Maybe inside I'm still a broken little boy that you never bothered to see. Maybe that's why you won't let me help you. You don't want to admit that you were wrong."

"Oh, I was wrong?" John pushed off the wall. "I'm not the one who picked up some damn idol and cursed himself. I'm not the one who got seduced by a goddamn demon."

Dean turned, his face filled with fury. "No, you're the one who left a fourteen year old boy alone and let him get raped, and then never even noticed that I was different. You're the one who left me to raise Sam while you ran off chasing your demons. You're the one who let Mom die in the first place."

The words slammed into him and John took a step back. Just like Sam, this wasn't really Dean, it was a defense, to keep him from having to come out of the programming. John swallowed and turned to the door. "I'll get you that aspirin. You want anything else?"

"I want to go home."

"You are home." John responded.

"I want to see Sam."

"No. Not yet."

"Keep your damn aspirin." Dean turned away and John let himself out, closing the door and locking it.

"Well, that went well." John mused darkly as he rejoined the others.

"Why don't you let us keep an eye on them for now." Bobby offered. "Caleb is back from his run into town. He said something about getting the grill started."

John nodded. "Yeah, I could use some food."

He headed out of the barn and up to the house. He could already smell the charcoal burning. Caleb pulled a beer out of a cooler as he approached, cracking it open before handing it across. "Picked up some steaks while I was out. Figured a good meal would do us all some good."

John took a long drag off the beer and turned to look at the barn. "I'll be surprised if either of the boys eat for a while. They've both hit the angry stage."

"Are you going to be okay with what we have to do, John?" Caleb asked as he laid meat on the grill. "I mean, this will get ugly before it gets any better."

"I know." He looked down at his hand wrapped around the beer. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Dean…he has a point." He had left Dean alone to raise Sam a lot. Even when he'd been there, he'd expected a hell of a lot of the kid. And he hadn't even suspected the rape. He'd suspected something had happened, but nothing like that. "What kind of father was I?"

He looked away, not expecting Caleb to answer.

"No one is saying you win any prizes, John." Caleb said after a few moments of silence. "But as fathers go, you were better than some. Mine for example."

John turned to look at him, but Caleb shrugged it off. He'd never spoken much about his childhood, and all John knew was that he had lived on the streets for a while before a hunter took him in.

"My dad would make this Daniel guy look like a saint, is all I'm saying." He poked at the steaks on the grill, then looked up, wise ass smile in place. "And I turned out just fine. Slightly twisted, but fine."

"I wish I could say the same for my boys." John drank from the beer.

"We will get them through this." Caleb assured him.

"And then what?" John asked, shaking his head. "This is only the beginning."

"One step at a time, my friend. One step at a time."


	5. All You Ever Learned of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Sam disappeared, and no matter how hard they looked, John and Dean couldn't find him. Then Dean went missing. John Winchester searches for them, enlisting the help of friends at first to find them, and then once he has to save them from the cult that has brainwashed them with sex and magic. But this is no ordinary cult, and their leader is the demon John's been hunting since his wife died. He isn't about to let his favorite followers go without a fight.

Sam lay still and quiet on his cot, his breathing shallow as he focused himself. He could feel Bobby and Joshua and Caleb nearby. Beyond them he could feel Dean. He drew on the power Daniel had given him and called out to his brother, feeling him stir. He tried to connect to him, to speak to his mind, to comfort him, but all he really managed was a light touch to tell him he was there.

He was weakening.

Without daily contact with the energy of the temple, his ability to use the gifts Daniel had given him was fading.

Sam lifted his wrist, bringing the blue stone of his position up to his forehead, grateful that they had at least given him use of his arms and legs back. "Daniel."

He spoke the name aloud, concentrated on Daniel's true form, tried to reach out to him. He got a vague impression of rage and violence, then he was flushed with the familiar feeling of Daniel, of power and love and arousal.

"I love you." The words echoed around him and Sam sat up. He could tell Dean had felt it. Daniel knew, Daniel would come. Sam stood, crossing to the door.

"Dad? Can I talk to you?"

The door opened and his father entered cautiously. Not that Sam could blame him, not with the bruise still darkening his cheek where Sam had hit him the last time he'd been in the room.

"What is it?" John asked.

"I…I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have said the things I did. I was…" He shook his head and looked away. "My head's all fuzzy. Nothing makes sense."

He could sense the relief in his father at the first sign that something was changing. He turned back, lifting his hand to brush along the bruise. His father didn't flinch. Sam reached out to nudge him, urging arousal, need, base wanton desire. John grunted and took a step back. "I'm so sorry." Sam whispered, moving in closer. "Let me make it up to you."

His lips brushed John's and he could feel the resistance now, sudden realization what he was doing. Sam pushed ahead, pressing him into the door, closing his lips over his father's, reaching into him for every pleasure spot he had.

John shoved him back, grabbing at Sam's wrist to keep him from falling. Instead, his hand caught on the leather cord of the bracelet, snapping it and Sam fell to the floor.

Sam shuddered, the wind knocked out of him as he hit the floor, his tangible connection severed. He was naked, stripped bare, all of Daniel ripped from him in that single movement, his gifts pouring out of him so quickly he couldn't breathe. "What have you done!" Sam screamed at his father who stood in the door, holding the bracelet and staring at him.

"Get out! Get out! Leave me alone!" Sam yelled, clawing his way back to his feet. John's face was white as he realized what had changed and he stepped back, shoving through the door and closing it behind him.

"Daniel! Don't leave me!" Sam tried to reach out for him, tried to feel the connection like he had before, but he was suddenly and completely alone.

 

 

John ran from Sam's door to Dean's, the others following and asking questions he didn't stop to answer. He pulled the door open, startling Dean and stalking into the room, crowding Dean into the corner.

"Dad?"

John grabbed his hand and pulled his arm up, his fingers twisting in the leather.

"No." Dean shook his head and tried to pull the hand away, but just succeeding in helping John rip the bracelet off of him. He didn't scream the way Sam had, but his face went pasty white and he sagged into the wall, slowly sliding down it as John stepped away. "No. Please give it back. Please?"

John was shaking when he left the room, closing the door and throwing the lock.

"Are you going to tell us what is going on?" Bobby asked.

"I'm not completely sure." John put the two leather bracelets on the table and brushed his hands down his thighs. "Sam…he was trying to…" He shook his head. "I pushed him, but didn't want to hurt him. Grabbed his wrist and the thing broke. The way he reacted…it was like I took away his…connection…or something."

"So they're more than just an indication of rank like we thought." Joshua said, picking up Dean's and lifting it to examine.

"I guess so." They could still hear Sam yelling, in turns angry and begging. In the distance they could hear thunder rumbling. "We might want to prepare for company." John said, the hair on the back of his neck standing up.

"You think it would come for them?" Caleb asked, though he was already loading rock salt rounds into the shotgun.

Before he could respond, the sound of the outer wards being breached could be heard. "That answers that question." Bobby said.

They were prepared, the whole property well warded to give any demon a hell of a time getting in, the whole barn itself built on sacred ground, over a devil's trap. John went to the cabinet and pulled out holy water.

Screams echoed around them as the second round of wards were breached. "Sounds like Daniel didn't come alone." Joshua said.

The doors blew off the barn, off the doors that held Sam and Dean. Wind howled through and there, in the doorway was a tall figure. They circled, spread out and ready.

Sam and Dean started toward him, then stopped, eyes downcast.

"You must be Daniel." John said, stepping forward, into the middle of the space, luring the damn demon in.

"John Winchester. Now this is a moment." He stepped into the open space, his eyes flicking over John and his shotgun. "Come now, really? Can't we just settle this like civilized beings?"

"If you were civilized." John responded, nodding to Bobby who began the incantation.

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Exorcism? You think your measly words can bother me, John?" His eyes flashed yellow and John felt his stomach pitch to the side. "Remember me?"

He grit his teeth and threw a jar of holy water at him. He hissed and his skin sizzled and he tried to step toward John, looking at his feet when they wouldn't move. "Oh so clever, John." He lifted his eyes to Sam. "Come to me Sam."

Sam stepped closer, his eyes darting from Daniel to John and back again. Joshua's voice joined Bobby's. Daniel's hand fisted in Sam's hair and pressed him to his knees. "Dean, join your brother."

Dean was more hesitant, but he came, sinking to his knees willingly and reaching for Sam. Daniel's free hand found his head and he threw his own head back, cracking his neck.. "Your boys belong to me now John. Their souls feed me, make me stronger. Their love is stronger than your silly Latin words."

John lifted the shotgun and aimed it directly at the bastard's face. He pulled the trigger, plastering his neck and face with salt. He yanked back on both heads as he lowered his yellow eyes and the shotgun twisted out of John's hands.

"Now that stings." Flesh dripped off Daniel's face and suddenly John felt a hand twisted in his shirt even though there was no hand there. He was yanked across the floor toward Daniel.

The volume in the room lifted as Caleb's voice joined the chanting. "I would have kept the three of you forever with nothing to do but fuck and be fucked and live eternally." Daniel said. "Now I'm going to peel the flesh from your bones and let your blood baptize your boys into hell."

John fought to get his hand up, the rosary clenched tight until he could press it into the skin at Daniel's neck. “Praecípio tibi, quicúmque es, spíritus immúnde, et ómnibus sóciis tuis hunc dei fámulum (hanc dei fámulam) obsidéntibus: ut per mystéria incarnatiónis, passiónis, resurrectiónis et ascensiónis Dómini nostri Jesu Christi, per missiónem Spíritus Sancti."

Daniel laughed, then coughed, his eyes bulging. "You think you can beat me?"

"Et per advéntum ejúsdem Dómini nostri ad judicium, dicas mihi nomen tuum, die et horam éxitus tui, cum áliquo signo: et ut mihi Dei minístro licet indígno, prorsus in ómnibus obédias: neque hanc creatúram Dei, vel circunstántes, aut eórum bona ullo modo offéndas."

The four of them recited the words together, not the standard exorcism they used on lesser demons. No, this one had come from long before, it was etched into the cement below their feet. Daniel's grip on him wavered. His face contorted and the smoking of his skin got worse.

John's feet hit the ground and he pressed forward. Holy water sprayed from the hose in Joshua's hands, slamming into them as they continued with the words. Daniel's knees buckled and John rode him to the ground, pressing the crucifix of the rosary into his face.

Suddenly, Daniel's mouth opened and black billows of inky smoke spilled out of him, screaming around them before flying out into the night.

In the silence that followed, none of them moved. The body under John was cold, probably long dead. His limbs were heavy and achy as he fought to catch his breath. He shook off the pull of exhaustion and crawled up to his knees as Bobby and Caleb and Joshua staggered toward them.

Sam and Dean were sprawled out to either side of Daniel, neither of them moving. For a moment his heart stopped, then Dean twitched and Caleb fell to his knees beside him, reaching to check his pulse. He nodded at John who turned to where Bobby was checking on Sam.

"It ain't over." Joshua said, helping John up.

"It is for now." John amended. "Lets get the boys cleaned up and those doors fixed. No telling if exorcising the bastard is enough to get them free of him."

 

 

Dean's first thought was that he was hungry, and his second was that he really needed to pee. He opened his eyes slowly, wondering why his head hurt so bad and where the fuck he was. He sat up, realizing it wasn't just his head that hurt. His whole body felt like he'd been worked over.

He was also not in clothes he recognized. Or anything he would actually wear. His feet were bare and there were bruises on his wrist. He rubbed at his head and tried to remember what had happened, only to discover a needle in his arm and tubes that run up to an IV hung above him.

The last thing he remembered clearly was having a burger with Sam in San Francisco. Sam.

He stood, pulling the needle out of his arm and frowning hard as he crossed to the door of the small room. There were flashes after that. Sam and some guy who wasn't Sam, sex, girls. He shook his head, trying to make it make sense. He tried the door. It was locked, which somehow didn't surprise him.

"Hello?" He knocked at the door. "Anybody out there?"

The lock turned and the door opened. Dean stepped back, not sure what to expect, and certainly the last thing he expected was his father. "Dad?" Dean asked, rubbing his head again.

"How you feeling?"

"Confused. Why the hell is the door locked?" Dean looked past his father, spotting Bobby. "Where the hell are we?"

"I need you to calm down." John said.

"I'm calm. I'm confused as fuck, but I'm calm." He rubbed his head. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck, and I don't know what the fuck is going on, but this is as calm as I get, waking up in a strange place, locked in a room by my father."

"Okay, that's not exactly as calm as I'd like." John said. "But given the circumstances, I'll take it."

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?"

His father crossed his arms and looked him over. "I need you to trust me, and tell me something first."

"Okay." Dean said hesitantly.

"What do you remember?"

Dean shrugged and walked back to the cot, suddenly very tired. "I went to San Francisco to find Sam. We had a burger. He said something about a hunt. I was going to help him with a ghost problem." He shook his head. "Everything goes weird after that, then I woke up here."

His father nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Dean frowned harder. "How is that okay?"

"It means maybe we're on the road to getting you better," his father said.

"I don't understand."

John sighed and nodded. "I know. For now, how about we get you something to eat and something for that headache? You've been out cold for almost seventy-two hours. Before that you'd refused food for almost two days. We had to give you fluids the hard way." He gestured at the IV. "But Caleb's got some hot dogs on the grill."

He gestured out the door and Dean nodded, moving past him. "I refused food?"

His father chuckled and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll explain later, okay?"

Dean nodded. "Will that explanation include where the hell my shoes are?"

A blood curdling scream stopped him and he turned toward the sound, his stomach sinking. Sam. He took a step toward it, but his father's hand stopped him. "Not just yet."

"That's Sam." Dean said, trying to pull away. He knew something was terribly wrong, that sound just wasn't normal. "What's wrong with Sam?"

His father's grip tightened on his shoulder and turned Dean away from the place where he knew Sam was. "He's not coming out of it as well as you did. He was gone a whole lot longer."

"What does that mean?" Dean asked, digging in his feet to keep from getting pulled away.

"He's not well, Dean." John sighed and for the first time Dean realized how gaunt and tired looking his father was, his face bruised under the facial hair, his eyes dark and sunken.

Dean shrugged his father's hand off. "Explain to me what the fuck is going on."

"That's a mighty strong demand, coming from you, Son." Bobby said. "You sure he ain't playing you, John?"

"I ain't playing, Bobby. What the fuck is wrong with Sam?"

"Near as I can tell he's going through withdrawal, though it ain't like nothing I ever saw."

"Withdrawal? From what?"

John shrugged and sagged a little. "Who knows? The sex? The magic? Some drug they fed you?"

"They…" Dean trailed off, his brow tightening as he squinted at his father. Flashes of memory filled him. Sam. Sex. Blood. He shook his head, unable to connect it all. Demon. There was a demon…and he….it slipped away and Dean's knees gave out on him. Bobby and his father caught him, held him up.

"Lets get you fed and bathed and we'll go from there." His father slung an arm around his back and helped him get his feet under him, supporting him out into a yard beside a big farmhouse. Caleb smiled from beside a big grill as John helped Dean sit at the picnic table next to it.

"Good to see you up and around."

Dean sort of nodded thanks as Caleb slipped a plate with three hotdogs on it and his father set a can of soda beside it along with a bag of chips. His stomach rumbled and for the moment, he put everything else aside to deal with the importance of eating.

Of course, that led to only making his need to pee all that much stronger. He looked up at the house. "I take it there's a bathroom in there with my name on it."

"Come on, I'll show you." His father didn't say anything else until they were inside. "There are clean towels in there. I have clothes for you in the bedroom at the end of the hall. You think you can manage?"

Dean nodded. "I'll be fine. But when I'm done, we're going to talk."

John nodded in agreement. "I'll be here."

Dean relieved himself first and contemplated the big old claw foot tub. A hot bath would feel incredibly good. He started the water and started to strip down. He flushed with something like embarrassment as he stood naked beside the tub, though he wasn't sure why. Something to do with being naked…though Dean had never really had a problem with nudity before.

He stepped into the tub and tried to focus on the flashes of memory. Sam stood out the strongest. Sam's smile, the way his hair flopped down over his eyes when he dropped his face a little. Dean flushed with an entirely different feeling then, his cock hardening. He took a deep breath and forced the arousal away.

He remembered that too, thinking he'd gotten over it, that he'd moved past his obsession with his brother, right up until he saw him again. Sam's voice, his laugh, his giant hands…Dean had been hard pressed not to kiss him on the spot.

Dean sank into the water, his achy body responding well to the heat, relaxing slowly. Everything about that moment was crystal clear, Sam's bear hug, the tight line of him, the clear joy at seeing Dean again…everything about Sam was clear, but nothing outside of him was coming back.

He laid his head back against the tub and closed his eyes. His father would explain. He had to.

 

 

Dean pulled on jeans that should have fit him, but seemed too big and t-shirt that was huge on him before shoving his feet into a pair of boots he recognized as his fathers. He stopped to look at himself in the dresser on the back of the bedroom door.

He was thin, his face pale and gaunt, with dark circles under his eyes. He almost didn't believe that was really him.

Sighing, he headed down the stairs, finding his father in the kitchen alone. "So, I remember getting a call from Sam, telling me he was in California. I remember driving like a bat out of hell to get there. I remember seeing him. Thing is, I can't remember where, outside of San Francisco. I try to picture the place and all I get is gray blur." Dean said without preamble, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer.

His father nodded. "I'm not surprised. You were under the influence of a demon, and probably drugs, brainwashing." He shook his head. "Bobby thinks it will come back over time, but for now, this is how your brain is dealing with it."

"Brainwashing?" Dean snorted, straddling a chair. "That doesn't sound like me."

His father looked up at him and Dean could see the seriousness in his eyes. "I'm not sure how they managed it, but I know it involved sex and blood magic."

Dean sat back like the words were physical and could hurt him. "Whoa, that's some heavy mojo."

"Yeah, you're telling me." His father rubbed a hand over his face. "Apparently this demon specializes in exploiting sexual trauma. He targets victims of abuse and molestation, rape victims."

Dean froze, his hand wrapped around the beer. He'd never told a soul, not even Sam. No one knew. He forced himself to lift the beer and swallow. "Also doesn't sound like me."

"I know, Dean."

Dean blinked and pushed away the rush of fear. No. No. No. No one knew. No one. "I don't know what—"

John slapped his hand down on the table. "Stop. No more secrets and lies. I can't help you when you lie to me." He turned to look Dean in the eye. "I know because you told me."

Dean shoved back from the table, knocking the chair over. It was pure reflex, defense. He would never have told that. Not to his father. Not to John Winchester.

"I know about Sam too." His father's voice was flat, tired. Not at all like he'd just told Dean he knew all the dirty secrets he'd been keeping for years.

"I…" Dean wiped at his mouth, pulled his hand through his hair. "Dad…I…"

John held up his hand. "Now isn't the time to tell me how sorry you are or whatever deflection you're thinking. I'm not angry."

"Right." Dean turned away. His father couldn't be saying he accepted the information like Dean had spilled the beans about some girl he'd fucked or car he stole.

Suddenly, John was there, turning him around. "I'm not angry, Dean. I'm hurt that you never told me about that goddamn coach so I could disembowel him. I'm bothered that you and Sam didn't come to me when the thing with the idol happened."

"How could I tell you?" Dean asked, his voice cracking. He closed his eyes, remembering the fear, the humiliation, the shame. He'd crawled out of that coach's office and he'd taken Sam home and he'd showered and scrubbed himself raw, cried in a corner of the living room with a pillow over his face so he wouldn't wake Sam. They'd ended up leaving town before the week was over and Dean had buried the whole thing, and never brought up football again.

His father's hand caught the back of his head and pulled him into a hug. "You're my son, Dean. I would have helped you."

Tears burned at the corner of his eyes and he blinked to clear them. John held him tight for a minute, then stepped back, his hand cupping to Dean's face. "I would have killed the bastard…but I would have supported you."

Dean wiped at his face. "And the thing with Sam?"

His father grimaced, but didn't turn away. "That was as much my fault as yours. I shouldn't have taken you two with me, or made you wait in the car. That old fool was always collecting the most dangerous, stupid shit around. You couldn't have known what it was going to do."

Dean reached for his beer. "No, but we should have told you. Once we realized something was wrong."

"I'm not arguing with that. If you had, we might have found a solution."

He bit his lip, remembering the moment he'd decided to go through with it. He hated himself, but he couldn't think past the need to have Sam, to taste his skin, to sink into him, to make him forever his. "At the time, there didn't seem to be any other solution. It was…a powerful compulsion." He lifted the beer and swallowed a mouthful.

"And now?"

Dean almost choked and turned to look at his father. "I…what?"

"The compulsion. It is still there, isn't it?"

Dean exhaled and tried to find a way to deny it. "I…so don't want to be having this conversation."

John's hand came down on his shoulder. "I think that's why you and Sam were susceptible to this demon, Dean. You were both already under the influence of some powerful sex magic."

"Something else I told you that I can't remember?"

John chuckled darkly. "Not so much told me. It was obvious though, watching the two of you together."

Dean's head filled with an image, a moment…sitting across a table from his father, Sam at his side, Sam's hand covering his as though it was completely natural…his voice spilling dirty secrets, things best kept hidden.

"Daniel." The name came bubbling out, though Dean couldn't place a face to go with it, he could feel the heat of lips on his own, the touch of fingers on his skin. He traced a finger over his lips. "He…" It slipped away and Dean shook his head.

"He was the demon." John supplied. "You should probably get some rest. I need to go out and relieve Bobby."

"I want to see Sam."

"I don't think it's a wise idea."

"I don't care." Dean said a little more forcefully than he actually felt. To his surprise his father didn't argue, just lead the way out the back porch and down to the barn.

Sam was quiet as John opened the door to the room they were keeping him in, but he was restrained to the bed, in little more than sweatpants, his chest marked up. His eyes opened as they came in, widening as they spotted Dean.

"Dean…help me."

Arousal flushed through him, followed by anger at himself. "Sammy." John put an arm out to keep him from getting too close.

"How you feeling, Sam?"

"Like you care? Dean, help me. Let me go."

He could see the shaking in Sam's hands, the wild in his eyes. "I'll be good, I promise."

"The last time we let you up, you nearly killed Joshua." John said.

"I won't hurt anybody. Just let me have Dean? Dean, you'll stay with me? For a little while? Please Dean? I need you."

It was obvious what Sam meant, his sweats tented with his need. Dean eased his way around his father to kneel beside the cot, his hand lifting to caress Sam's sweaty cheek. "Holy shit, he's burning up."

"Yeah, it started right after we exorcised the fucking demon. We got him into this room and he started convulsing and spewing vile words and the fever started."

Sam's eyes met his, filled with begging. "Dad, gimme a few minutes?"

"Dean--"

He looked up at his father. "Please?"

He was almost sure his father wouldn't agree, then he nodded. "I'll be right outside that door."

When the door was shut, he turned back to Sam. "Easy, Sammy."

"Hurts so much Dean. I need him."

"Shh." Dean wiped his sweaty face. "You need to get better."

"Daniel. You have to find Daniel."

Dean shook his head. "He's gone Sam. Dad exorcised him."

Sam's head tossed on the cot. "No." His voice was a desperate whine.

Dean kissed him to make the sound stop, then froze. That was familiar. Sam's tongue filled his mouth, his teeth nipping. "Dean. Dean." He pulled at the restraints, but Dean pulled back. "In the car."

"What?" Dean swallowed hard.

"In the car, in the glove box. My flask. Bring it to me?"

"I…I'll try, okay?" Dean said, backing up. He could still taste Sam on his tongue, feel him. Right that moment Dean needed to get away though, before he did something they'd both regret. Again.

 

 

His skin burned and the restraints chaffed. He imagined the shadows on the walls were alive, coming for him and he cried out for help. Yellow eyes burned in the dark, mocking him, telling him he was weak, that he didn't deserve to be one of the Chosen.

"There's a special place in hell for those who fail me, Samuel. I'll see you there real soon."

He writhed against the sweaty sheets, trying to free his hands to fight them. "Dean!" He screamed his brother's name, not really expecting him to answer.

The door opened, dim light slipping over the floor, making the shadows dance more obscenely around him. "Sam." The voice was a whisper, Dean's voice.

The door closed and one shadow moved closer, an actual hand touching Sam. "Dean?"

"I'm here, Sam. Shh…don't wake Caleb." Dean's hand slid over Sam's chest. "I know what you need, Sammy. I'm going to give it to you." His hand slid under Sam's sweats, curled around his cock and Sam was hard instantly. "See, let me help you Sammy."

"Dean…" Sam gasped as Dean moved to straddle over him, his own pants gone. "Need…"

Dean guided Sam's cock to his ass and sank down onto him. "Shh…I know."

"He's gonna kill me Dean."

Dean rose up and sank down, setting up a rhythm. "No, Sammy…no demon's going to take you away from me. You belong to me, remember?"

Sam saw the knife then, as Dean lifted his hand and sliced into the meat of his palm. "You want blood? You get mine." Blood dripped down onto Sam's face as Dean lowered his hand. Sam licked at the blood on his lips, thrusting up into Dean as his mouth closed over the wound. "Just you and me, Sammy. Just like it used to be."

Sam came in a rush and Dean slipped off him, leaning in to kiss him. A warm cloth followed, washing his face. Warmth spread through him, not the fire of Daniel's blood…but something familiar, necessary. "Dean?"

"Right here, Sam. Sleep."

"I love you Dean." His eyes closed, sudden lethargy taking over and dragging him under.

 

 

"You shouldn't be down here." John said in way of good morning as he joined Dean at the table in the barn.

Dean made a face. "Couldn't sleep. Besides, Sam's been quiet since I got here."

"No outbursts?"

Dean shook his head. "Fever seems to have broken. I checked on him a few hours ago and he was sleeping."

John sipped his coffee, looking at Sam's door. "How long you been out here?"

"I came down around three and sent Caleb to bed." Dean stood and headed for the coffee pot on the counter.

John put his hand down on the pile of books Bobby had been digging through, trying to come up with something to help the boy. Dean had one open in front of him, and beside the book was a flask and a knife. "You find something?"

Dean squinted at him. "Remembered something. The book helped."

That was when John saw the bandage on Dean's hand. "Maybe the right question is, did you do something?"

Again, Dean made the face. "I just…gave him what he needed. Okay?"

John's stomach tightened. "Dean, what did you do?"

Dean sighed and shook his head. "It's been two days since I came out of it, he's just gotten worse. I took a chance."

"Dean, you don't fuck around with this shit."

"No, Dad. He was dying. You broke the connection to Daniel, you took away the supply of blood." Dean picked up the flask and threw it at him. "Demon blood. That's what I remembered. Daniel, he feeds it to them…his special ones, his chosen. That's what gives them their power."

John opened the flask and recoiled from the smell. "It's like a drug, and combined with the sex and the magic….Sam was jonesing hard."

"So you did…what?"

Dean held up his hand. "I gave him something stronger."

John came around the table and grabbed Dean's hand, peeling back the bandage to look at the gash. "I soaked my hand in holy water and slipped him something to take the edge off to let him sleep."

"And you think that's going to make a difference?"

"You and me and Sam, we're family. That's more important than any demon, right?"

John frowned at him, not at all sure that would actually work, but Dean seemed so determined and after the last two days John could only hope he was right. "I'm going to check on him."

He left Dean and opened the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake Sam if he really was finally sleeping. Sam's body was lax against the cot, his face peaceful for the first time in days. He looked so young and innocent lying there that John could almost believe they were past the worst of it.

He eased the door shut. "I'll get an IV set up, get some fluid and nutrition into him."

Dean seemed to relax. "I'm going to go up to the house and re-bandage this."

"Bobby's up, have him give you a hand."

John watched him go, then fished out what he needed to set up and IV. He'd wait to dope Sam up until he knew he was out of the woods. But he didn't blame Dean for offering the kid a shot at sleeping.

He let himself back into the room and lowered himself down beside the cot, laying the bag out on Sam's stomach and set about finding a vein in his arm. Once he had the needle in, he taped it down and looked up, surprised to find Sam's eyes on him.

John offered a smile and Sam blinked. "Dad…" his voice was cracked and dry and he licked his lips like that would help.

"It's okay, Sam. You're safe."

Sam nodded, blinking slowly. "Dean…"

"He's safe too."

"Did I hurt you?"

John shook his head. "No, Son. I'm fine."

"Tired."

He brushed the hair off Sam's forehead and leaned in to kiss it. "I know. Sleep. I'll be right here." He stood and lifted the bag, watching Sam's eyes close again. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe.

 

 

Everything hurt. Sam groaned and pressed both hands to his eyes. He could smell bacon and coffee. Warm air blew in the open window. He could _feel_ his father and Dean downstairs. But at least it was just the three of them now that Bobby and Caleb had finally left.

It was harder with all of them there. Everything was still so ragged, raw.

He sat up slowly. Two weeks had passed since he woke up with an IV in his arm and Dean asleep in a chair in the corner. Parts of the last months were still blurry, other parts were crystal clear.

The guilt sat heavy in his stomach, though both Dean and their father had told him that he wasn't to blame. He knew better. This had all been his fault.

He exhaled and tried to stretch. He was tired of this room. He pushed himself upright, teetering a little as he reached vertical, but his knees held and he grabbed the robe on the back of the door before shuffling out of the bedroom and toward the bathroom.

He was shaking a little when he got there, but he managed to deal with his needs by himself, the first time since he'd been awake he hadn't need a hand to keep him from falling. He flushed and washed his hands and decided to see how far his good luck held.

At the top of the stairs he paused, wondering if he should call for help. He'd been enough of a burden. He gripped the railing and put his foot on the top stair. He got down three of them before his knees started to wobble.

Determined, he gripped the railing tighter and stumbled down the next few steps. Five or so from the bottom, he sat down with a thump, breathing hard. Dean appeared in the doorway, cursing.

"What are you doing?"

"Coming to breakfast?" Sam responded, trying to smile, but not really looking his brother in the eye. No matter what else they'd come through, the desire was still there.

"You should have called me."

"You would have just made me stay in bed. I'm tired of being in bed." He held out his hand for Dean to help him up and despite huffing at his hard headedness, Dean took it.

"You must be feeling better at least." Dean said as he slipped his arm around Sam's back to support him out into the kitchen where their father was just serving up plates.

"What are you doing down here?"

Sam rolled his eyes and let Dean help him into the chair. "Stretching my legs. Can't stay in bed forever." _Not alone anyway._ He sighed and pushed the thought away. Dean offered a tight smile. At least now Sam knew he wasn't alone in his perversion and that Dean didn't hate him for it.

He was still mortified that his father knew, but it made dealing with with the compulsion, or rather the long silences as they fought it, somewhat easier, knowing that everyone in the room understood what was at stake.

John set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him and one in front of Dean. "Coffee?"

Sam nodded and smiled. "This smells so good."

John joined them at the table with a coffee mug for Sam and it fell silent as they all started eating. It was awkward and strange and more than a little unreal. He half expected every morning to wake up back at Stanford or in Daniel's bed at the temple. Dean touched his knee under the table and Sam looked up, nodding. "Just thinking."

"That'll get you in trouble." Dean said, grinning.

Sam was quiet then for a long time, chewing thoughtfully. None of them had said it, but they all knew it wasn't over. The demon was still out there somewhere. All they had done was send it out of the body it had been in. Daniel's body. "We should go back." Sam said finally when the silence had stretched out.

"What?" Dean asked. "Are you crazy?"

Sam shook his head. "No, hear me out. We need to know what happened to the others."

"I repeat, are you crazy?"

"Sam has a point." John interjected before Sam could argue his case. "You boys weren't the only ones caught up in this bastard's spell. But I don't think either of you is ready for that." He put his fork down and drained his coffee cup. "You two are staying here for another couple of weeks. I'll go back to San Francisco, see what's happened since we left."

He pushed his chair back and stood, taking his dishes to the sink. "Got a line on something south of there anyway. Been meaning to get to heading after it." He opened a drawer and pulled out two new phones. "Got you boys these. Got my number and Bobby's and Caleb's in 'em already."

Dean pushed his chair back and crossed his arms. "A line on what, exactly?" Dean asked.

John frowned. "Nothing all that nasty. A haunting by the sound. I'll be gone a week, maybe two. When I come back, we can all hit the road out of here. You boys should be strong enough by then."

"Strong enough for what?" Sam asked, though he knew the answer. His father expected them to go back to what they had before. To hunting.

"Bobby's looking into your other problem. Keep your dicks in your own pants until then."

Right, like it was that easy.

Sam didn't say anything, but Dean wasn't keeping quiet. He stood. "You’re just going to take off?"

John sighed. "You boys are safer here than with me."

Dean narrowed his eyes. "You're going after the demon." John didn't deny it. "Not alone."

"I'm meeting up with Joshua. There are omens in Jericho. Your brother isn't ready, and he can't stay here alone."

Sam put a hand on Dean's back and Dean softened. "Yeah, why should now be any different? Go on. We'll be fine."

"I'm going to make this right." John said fervently. Then he was gone, grabbing a duffel bag near the door and heading out to the truck. A few minutes later, they were alone.

Sam's hand burned where it touched Dean and he pulled it away. "You going to be okay for a few minutes alone?" Dean asked suddenly.

"Yeah, why?"

Dean huffed. "I need a shower."

 

 

 

They did okay not touching for the first few days, as long as they didn't touch or stand too close it wasn't too bad. But then Dean brushed the hair out of Sam's eyes without thinking and before either one of them could breathe, they were kissing…all hungry and desperate, even the air between them was too much.

Skin on skin happened fast and the floor rose up to meet them as they fell together, grabbing and pulling and when Dean's cock sank into Sam, they both yelled in relief. Dean came quickly, then turned his mouth to Sam's leaking cock, swallowing him fast and furious until Sam spilled down his throat.

They lay panting, side by side on the floor, both of them still hard, still wanting more.

It was worse after that. They took to sleeping in opposite corners of the house, but always ended up together, bodies tangled together, the smell of sex in the air. They didn't talk about it, but it made the days easier.

Dean began to think that maybe that was okay. If they could function, think beyond the touch of the other's body once they'd sated one another, no one had to know what they did alone together at night. Sam seemed happier too. And, that was worth a lot.

John called about a week and a half after he left, said the temple building had been burnt to the ground, the people scattered.

That was the last they heard from him.

Two weeks went by, then a third. Dean dialed his father's number every day, but it dumped straight to voicemail. He closed the phone and sighed, looking out at the Impala and the dirt road leading toward the highway. Sam set a duffle bag on the picnic table.

"He said Jericho, right?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. He pulled the car keys out of his pocket. "Driver picks the music."

"Shotgun shuts his cakehole." Sam replied with a grin.

"Damn straight, bitch."

"Jerk."

It was familiar, and comfortable, even with everything still hanging over them. Dean started the engine and slipped on his sunglasses. They left a spray of gravel and dust behind them, headed for the last place they knew they’re father had been. Together.

That alone was more than Dean had thought he’d ever have again.


End file.
